Retribution
by Raina1
Summary: When a world is torn by war there are battles we fight outside ourselves and then there are those we fight within. Future fic.
1. Warzone

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong to their respective copyrights and I have absolutely nothing at all to do with their creation - although I kick myself every day for not coming up with this idea first.

**Author's Note:** This story has an interesting inspiration. When I was in ninth grade my World History teacher made us view the film _All Quiet On the Western Front_. As some of you may or may not know, this film was originally a book - a classic at that. This book was actually banned in Europe by Hitler during World War II because it showed the Germans in an unfavorable light. Anyway in the movie version I saw, there was a scene involving the German soldier protagonist and a French soldier. If memory serves me, during a battle, the German soldier is hiding in a trench. A French soldier happens by and the German soldier leaps up and stabs the man who then collapses into the trench with the main character. But since there's a battle going, the main character can't leave the trench. During the course of the night, he lies near the grievously injured man listening to him suffer. Eventually the main character resolves his own inner conflict and proceeds to help the dying man. The man dies but the German soldier has already realized something about himself - that even though the man was his enemy, they were in the same boat fighting for each their own countries. They were just two guys doing their duty, from my perspective. There's a lot more to the story than just this scene but I found it intriguing enough to write a fanfic inspired by it five years later! Rest assured this is not a 15 chapter epic. Now without further ado, on to the story. 

***

**Retribution**

By Raina

***

_"There's nothing you can do when you're the next in line." - Genesis "The Last Domino"_

***

He was running.

Chancing a glance over his shoulder, he wondered how long he could keep this up. Already his chest tightened from lack of sufficient oxygen and the laceration on his leg hindered his speed.

_It's gaining on me._

Avoiding the sea of corpses, Irken and human alike, he negotiated his way through the battlefield. His mind was only for the assumed safety ahead of him. If he could reach the summit, he'll be safe. Well, not safe really, but safer. Stopping for a moment to catch a second wind, he made pause and fired behind him.

The Irken pursuing him easily ducked, moving liquidly to avoid the bullet. The astonished dismay greeting the creature's evil smirk stirred the human on. He's realized he cannot win this last round.

From its crouch on the ground, the alien sniveled. "Give it up, human, you can't outrun me."

Ignoring the taunt, he continued on. _I can make it. I've been able to avoid being killed this long, I can make it for another day to fight._ Somewhat worrisomely he checked behind him again. Yes, still following. Odd, how of all the Irken soldiers he'd met on the field today, this one actually seemed to be out for him specifically. It left no doubt or surprise though. Being in charge of the platoon responsible for wiping out the Earth based stronghold of Irkens naturally makes a person stand out. But who was this Irken? The human thought stumbling over a corpse of a man, probably someone he had spoken to five minutes before being killed. It had been on his ass the entire battle, concentrating all its energy on singling him out from the others. It scared him to see the obsession in its eyes. The total and utter dedication these aliens threw into their conquest had always puzzled the human since he was a very small child.

_So long ago it seems,_ he thought. _So long ago it was just a game, a farce, a power play. Now it's real. It's become everything I envisioned it to be - and worse_.

Halfway to the summit, he tripped over the barrel of a rifle. Yelping aloud, he fell forward. Much to his astonishment, he didn't merely hit the ground; he rolled over it downward. Grunting with each impact, he slid down the side of a ravine. It was one of those crevices that were impossible to see unless you were right on it. The whole tumble to the bottom, he went with the momentum. The knocks to his skull jarred him and the resultant shot of pain from his hip when he landed shook him. Rolling over onto his hands and knees, one hand on his head to keep his helmet from falling off, he looked up.

The Irken had stopped, standing on the edge of the ravine. Its silhouette framed against the dark gray smoke filled sky like a dead leaf. Slowly its spider legs came out and lifted the small creature. _Now!_ He quickly reached into his ankle holster. Aiming with a precision and speed no Irken or human could match, he fired a single shot.

Unwavering the Irken soldier remained stock still, an insect poised for the kill. For a moment the young human was confused. _Did I hit it?_ Then it pitched forward into the ravine, barely catching itself when it landed not two feet away from the man.

He scrambled away in the crabwalk, maintaining aim on the creature until he was able to rise to his feet. Even though dizziness clouded his vision and his leg bent awkwardly, he staggered toward the alien creature.

_God, I hope it's dead._

The Irken lay crumpled on the ground like a squashed spider, the metal legs broken and splayed around its body. A flower of green blood spilled from its abdomen and a pool of blood formed rapidly beneath its body. 

_Not the kill shot I was going for,_ he thought peering at the creature closely. From where the bullet had hit on the Irken's body, its injury would slowly and painfully kill it.

_A fitting death,_ he thought contemptuously his eyes narrowed. _For all the tortures they put us through in this damn war, a little suffering on both ends merits justice._

The Irken opened its eyes. Involuntarily the human man held his breath. The eyes were a shocking deep shade of green, unlike the usual magenta hue of most Irkens. Looking around it fixed its languid but intense gaze on him. In its eyes, the human was a child and an inferior being. Yet for all the years of training and experience, here it was the one lying in its own pool of blood. The human found this thought amusing and allowed a tiny smile to twitch on his lips.

"It must really stink right now to be you," he taunted the creature. 

The Irken spit blood out of its mouth and lifted its head a little. "Fuck you."

The human blinked. Finally. An Irken had properly utilized the English language. No mangled struggles for the correct word or phrase. Pure brilliance.

Smiling at the curse, he lowered the weapon. I'm going to let it. . . no _her_ die. _No mercy for humans, well, no mercy for aliens. Tit for tat. _

Giving it a little mocking wave, he left the injured extraterrestrial. _Okay, one threat out of the way. Now all I need to do is . . ._

"Oh no." He limped around the ravine, searching for some sort of way to climb out. The walls were almost completely vertical and there weren't enough crevices to gain footholds. After testing the surface and running his hands along it, he became aware of a horrifying reality.

_I'm trapped._

He backed away and took deep breaths. "Hell no. This is impossible." He walked back and forth, going one way and then another. Stopped. He heard the sound of a helicopter in the distance. His face went gray. It meant only one thing. "They're leaving," he whispered. Standing up he threw himself at the ravine wall, banging his fists, scrambling up its rough, rocky surface. "No! No! I'm here! Wait! I'm down here!" Hot tears stung his eyes and he blinked them back. "Don't go."

"Hehe."

He turned and glared at the Irken who propped herself up on one arm. 

"Your people abandoned you." More dirty chuckles. 

"Shut up." He pointedly turned his back on her. "They'll come back." I hope.

The Irken laughed again. "Fat chance of that, stink-beast." A cough interrupted her chortling. It got heavier and deeper so she turned on her side and hacked up a stream of green blood. Turning back over again, fighting back more congestion, she licked the blood off her lips. Despite the vicious pain, an evil smirk played across her face. "Face it, Dib, you're trapped."

Hearing his name, the young man finally turned around. "Who are you?" He came toward the Irken. "Why do you know my name?"

She smiled. "Everyone in the Irken Empire knows Dib Membrane." Cough.

Curling his gloved hands into fists, Dib stood over the tiny creature. "I can guess about as much." He pointed his gun at the Irken. Pleasure ran through him seeing her squirm and feebly try to crawl backward. Part of a spider leg jammed into the ground made moving in any direction virtually impossible. 

"Afraid to die?" he mocked, pointing the gun between her eyes. "You're already on that road."

She shook her head, curly antenna twitching. A drop of blood ran from the corner of her mouth.

Dib lowered the gun. His previous conviction came to mind again. "No. I'm not going to give you what you want."

Dismay and fear joined together in the female. So she responded in the best way known to her. "What makes you think you know anything about me, earth stink?"

Dib returned the favor. "What makes _you_ think you know anything about _me_?"

She fell silent, stuck for an argument and turned her head away from him. After a moment, she gargled deeply in her throat. Unable to fight the fluid filling her breathing orifices, she coughed for a long time.

Dib grew bored and wandered to the opposite side of the ravine wall. Well, if he was going to spend the night here, might as well set up for it. Warily he checked over his shoulder.

The Irken had managed to free herself from the entanglement pinioning her to the ground. Laboriously she crawled over to the other side of the ravine. She grabbed a rock jutting out from the side and heaved her weight up so her back was propped against the surface. The simple effort took a lot out of her and she exhaled loudly, weakly flopping an arm up to wipe the green fluid from her mouth. Her eyelids drooped and her antenna twitched sporadically.

_That's the damn trouble with Irkens,_ Dib thought angrily. _They take too long to die._ But there was an end in sight; he was fairly sure she would be dead by morning.

Dib sank down and hugged his knees, making sure he kept his handgun where he could get at it. He thought about moving somewhere else so he wouldn't have to look at the Irken. Unfortunately the ravine, however deep, wasn't lengthy. It was more of a huge pothole than a ravine. He could go in any direction and he'd still have the Irken in his view.

_Dammit_.

Since the battle was over and every human and Irken had fled into the evening, a deadly silence hung in the air. He thought about removing his helmet. _It was safe,_ he decided, _and besides my little dying roommate over there, I don't have anything to worry about._ He worked his fingers under the helmet and released the clasps, loosened the chinstrap. Dumping it unceremoniously on the ground beside him, he ran his fingers through his mussed, damp hair. After all these years, his spike managed to hang on by the edge of a knife until he'd been ordered to shorten it. He missed the stylish indulgence but admitted in the greater scheme of things, personal pursuits and preferences mattered little. 

Same went for the glasses. Ditching them for contacts had been difficult enough without panicking every time one of the damn lenses fell out. But through all the troubles they'd given him, he was grateful. Once too many times a soldier had been popped off because the sun reflected on his glasses at a certain angle. The same rules for human-to-human warfare applied to human-to-alien warfare - with the solid exception of high technology being the only major difference.

Dib rubbed at the skin between his sinuses, the tiny oval pressure marks still lingered. Tired, Jesus, he was exhausted. Too exhausted for someone his age, goddammit. He was only twenty-five. 

He opened his eyes and tilted his head back until it touched rock. The stars were out. _Has it really been that long? It feels like yesterday I was only fifteen and demanding to be enlisted._ It felt like eons ago, though, when this war had started. He didn't even know why Irk had invaded in the first place. He'd discovered Zim's mission had been a complete joke on their part but then . . . suddenly they decided they wanted Earth. In one day Zim went from laughingstock to a major source of information on human weaknesses. In a few short years, from what Dib heard, the little green guy worked his way to a high position somewhere. One where he didn't need to go and do any of the fighting. Dib hadn't seen him in at least five years. Not personally anyway. He planned to keep it that way.

Never mind. Dib was simply a lieutenant following whatever the government told him and his platoons to do. _Whatever that was left of the government in any case,_ he thought stretching his legs out. He winced and cried out. "Shit!" he muttered grabbing his knee and sucking in breath. He'd forgotten about that laceration in his leg. Stretching had opened it again. Warm blood trickled down his leg into his boot. Pulling his pant leg up, he inspected the wound, trying to keep a straight face. It went from under his knee to just above his ankle. Thank God it hadn't severed any muscles. With the first aide kit he had on him, it ought to suffice until he could get real medical attention.

While he worked on himself, Dib glanced up. He frowned. That Irken was still alive although she wasn't moving much. Mostly she remained quiet, staring bleakly at the heavens above. Sometimes a twinge of pain would make her moan aloud and her pak would light up, send a convulsion and resuscitate her every ten minutes. How long it would be able to keep her alive, Dib didn't know. Irken technology was advanced as hell but it wasn't perfect. Usually an Irken wounded like that killed itself. Why wasn't this one? Perhaps it didn't have a suicide watch thing like all the others did.

He almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

Dib returned his attention to his own wound. He wrapped it up after applying disinfectant - which stung and he had to clench his teeth together to keep from crying out. Pulling his cuff down again, Dib arranged the limb so it wouldn't bother him the whole night and then relaxed. Relaxed as much as he could anyway. 

His thoughts wandered. Just little things, like what was his sister doing at this moment and if his dad was okay. Gaz was on intelligence - one of the brains behind the scenes - and never had to pick up a gun. Dib would have been there too - everyone decried his insanity at picking up arms. He was considered one of the best resources on Irkens and his being out here was, to quote his general, 'risking the best intelligence on the enemy.'

Dib begrugedly admitted that without his insights, most of the few and far between victories humanity got were due to strategies devised by him. Unfortunately Dib had a crisis of conscience seeing all those poor men and women fighting for the planet. So he enlisted. 

Now here he was.

He wondered at his choice. Was it really worth it? He could be doing the resistance so much more good behind the lines rather than in front of them. Watching things die wasn't something he liked seeing every day. It sickened him.

"So why do you do it?" his former wife asked him once.

He had replied, "Because this is just something I have to do."

Not what she wanted to hear apparently. She divorced him, of course. Married only for two years and she divorced him because he wouldn't stop going off to kill aliens trying to take over earth. He'd pleaded with her but she wouldn't budge. A year later she married a good friend of Gaz's and forgot all about him.

He didn't forget her though - although he wanted to.

"Women," he muttered. "God, I don't need that." He shut his eyes and forced himself to go on to something else. 

Some Irkens who were sympathetic to Earth's plight joined a few years back - and the floodgate of how many were coming in was getting bigger. Things had been awkward for the first few years and a few dubbed 'hate crimes' happened. But now things had settled down. The Irken dissenters had adjusted themselves and Dib had had a few of them under his command. One particularly, Tak, had been his right hand and they never argued for leadership. They were considered the best human/alien team in the whole world.

He exhaled with regret. Tak was dead now, killed because they screwed up. One screw up after the a long run of victories caused her to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Irkens captured, tortured and then shot her. When news came out of this - delivered in a transmission via the most unsympathetic Irken alive, Zim - Dib had been walking by the room the transmission had been received in. He wanted so badly to run in there and curse Zim out with every vulgarity in the book but he daren't. He couldn't let Zim know he was alive or even where he was. Zim was obsessed with capturing him. He still seemed to view Dib as the worst threat to the success of the invasion - and he was partly right. Why the crazy alien wanted him alive beat the heck out of him. They did have some old scores to settle. Dib had plenty of reasons to want to kill Zim - especially after what he did to his sister.

Dib fought to keep the memory under check. Gaz had been able to move passed it; he ought to have done the same. But it haunted him. It revealed how low Irkens knew to go to get what they wanted out of humans. Dib believed his nemesis was evil but he never thought he was evil enough to do what he had done. He was shocked he didn't put the poor girl out of her misery instead of letting her go. It happened eight years ago when Gaz was eighteen but it still bothered him. Strange how it did too. He hadn't even been the one it had happened to!

_It's because it's what he could have done to me,_ he thought with a shudder_. He couldn't get to me so he took it out on my sister. Gaz never meant anything to him but she was the closest thing to me. _

A tidy few hours later into the night, a loud moan from the Irken jerked him back to reality. He opened his eyes and squinted through the moonlit darkness. She was trying to medicate herself and she wasn't succeeding. Every time she moved, the bullet wound bled. For fear of making it worse, she stopped trying to move bodily but the pain made her limbs move constantly. The moan dwindled to a low but shrill mewl. It ended after a spell, punctuated by a coughing fit.

Dib was tempted to get up, go over and end it. He couldn't stand listening to the damn thing. Her agony annoyed him. 

He sighed and closed his eyes again. Go. To. Sleep. The thought forced itself on his brain.

_"Un ivee nurka," _the Irken began to mutter in her native tongue, drifting in out of consciousness. _"Ili vai lae zyk fen."_ It sounded like a chant or a prayer. Dib recognized it. The Irken soldiers he had gotten to know muttered it all the time before a fight broke out. Once he asked about it and one explained it helped an Irken face death better if they spoke these words. It was the closest thing to religion these people had. It meant roughly translated: 'I go to fight, I go to death.'

He bet Zim never said it.

Suddenly the Irken shouted, _"Lakea hamata vecko!"_

Dib made a face. Trademark insult. He ignored it.

_"K'naa! Nura fomirk!"_

Dib's eyes snapped open and he sat up. _"Yunki gonor!"_ he shouted. It was a lame insult really; he had just compared her to a dirt-digging animal from her home planet. But what SHE had compared HIM to . . . some things he just couldn't let pass by.

She shut up. Then she spoke again, this time in English. "You speak Irken?"

"Some." He didn't want to talk with her. She was supposed to be dead.

"Oh."

A couple of minutes later, she moaned again.

Dib snapped. "That's it." He vaulted to his feet and picked up his gun. Limping over to her, he hovered unsteadily over the small creature. She was a sorry mess. Completely soaked in her own blood, her broken spider legs dangling from her open pak, the little lights on it blinking every now and then. Propped up against the ravine wall, she looked like a lamb sacrificed to the altar. Her claws limp at her sides, her legs lying uselessly ahead of her. Except for her open eyes, the rest of her looked dead.

He lifted his gun and aimed. She lifted her head tiredly, her eyelids drooping.

Dib's finger pressed the trigger. It almost fired. Gradually he lowered it.

"You're pathetic," she said weakly. "Can't even murder your own enemy. I don't know why he wants you."

Dib squinted an eye at her. "Who wants me?" 

She met his gaze. "Take a wild guess, worm."

He moved a little closer to her. "Zim."

Grin. "My aren't you bright."

Dib glared at her and crouched to approximate her height sitting down. "Who are you?"

"Invader Nia." Limply she inclined her head forward.

_Nice name,_ he reflected. _Almost human._ "Yeah, that's your title and name. I want to know what your mission was."

"You." Cough.

"Me?"

Nia gave him a long, steady eyeballing. "You _are_ stupid."

Whatever. "Zim sent you to capture me."

"Yeah."

He nodded. It made sense now why she didn't bother shooting at him. "Oh well," he gave her a cocky grin. "Better luck next time."

"Shut up." Nia tried to sit up more. A flicker of pain ran across her face. When that happened, Dib felt a flutter of something he thought long dead around his heart. Could it be he was actually feeling sorry for her? Crazy.

Dib sat down, keeping the gun on his knee. Nia watched him settle himself with one half-lidded eye. Her face asked.

His shoulders moved up and down in reply.

For a long time, he just sat with her. Saying nothing. She didn't make a sound, except when she went into the Irken equivalent of a cardiac arrest. Dib panicked when that happened and before he could move, the pak sent out a convulsion through the alien's tiny body. The dullness in her eyes remained but she was breathing again.

Dib gave up on the confusion inside of him. He moved. Crawling close to the Irken he gently moved her back from the ravine wall, getting her blood on him in the process. She struggled to protest but her voice refused to work. Carefully he removed the broken metal legs, which allowed the pak to close. Quietly he took out his first aide kit and began working. There wasn't much he could do; the pak would have to take care of whatever he couldn't medicate. But he could at least clean all the blood off and gauze the wound so it wouldn't be tempted to bleed every time its owner moved.

God, Irkens bled a lot.

When blood ran from her mouth again, he used his sleeve to wipe it away. Nia made a disgusted face and jerked back. She even spit on him. While he cleaned the blood off, her eyes followed his every movement. They asked questions she was unable to voice. The alien freaked out and struggled when he started to remove part of her uniform over the wound. Her claw grabbed his wrist tightly and she gave him a deadly warning, "I don't go that way."

Jesus. Dib bemoaned his own people's sexual habits - being that Irkens used to have none. Thanks to a few infamous encounters between one or two humans and Irkens, the aliens still with the Empire reviled being touched by humans. Dib had never had any such interest in Irkens (thank God) and agreed with her obvious abhorrence whole-heartedly.

He reassured her. "I just want to look at your wound."

Nia eyed him and then relaxed. "If you touch me . . ."

"I won't touch you," he promised in exasperation. "Look, see?" He held up his hands. "I'm wearing gloves."

Even so she warily kept her guard up, watching him so closely, he felt like he was back in grade skool being watched by Ms Bitters. Being the smartest kid in class regulated him to be of constant suspicion and many over the shoulder vigils on the teacher's part.

Finishing, he closed her uniform, taking great pains to not move too fast lest she freak out again. Then he scooted over and sat beside her. Pointedly he kept their bodies from coming into contact, since Irkens seemed to have great issues with humans touching them.

Neither spoke. They hardly even looked at each other.

Hours went by. Dib fell in and out of sleep, jerked awake every single time Nia coughed. Thankfully she'd stopped hacking up blood. It meant she was recovering. He wasn't sure how he felt about it - her improvement over what he did and why he did it.

It didn't matter.

At around the time the first fingers of dawn stretched over the mouth of the ravine, the sounds of a helicopter pierced the silence. Waking, Dib rose to his feet and listened. Yes. He smiled. They were getting louder.

"All right, I told you they did. . ." He trailed off and stared. Nia was gone. All that was left where she had lain were a few broken pieces of leg and dried blood puddles. She must have gotten away while he was asleep. Confused he looked around, hand going to his gun. It was still there. He exhaled in relief. 

The helicopter was roaring in his ears now. When he finally looked skyward, it appeared. He went where they could see him best and waved his arms.

A ladder came down and on it was Gaz. She jumped off it and approached him. His sister was a looker, her violet hair and amber eyes highlighted that fact and her figure made most men's eyes go round. Dib only gave her a weary smile.

"Hi Gaz."

His voice broke through her incredulous stare at his poor form. She took her time coming to him and gradually she gave him a hug before speaking. "You really pulled one over on us this time," she began pulling back. "You're lucky I love you so much."

Dib chuckled. "Thanks."

Her eyes went up and down. "You injured?"

"Yeah. My leg. Nothing serious though." Awed he watched the metal bird hover. "Man, how'd you guys find me?"

Gaz gave him an all-knowing tap on the side of her head, a wry grin teasing her often straight line of a mouth. "Sibling radar. No, I kept on their asses until they gave me a chopper and their good blessing. Honestly they were ready to give up on you."

"Give my appreciation to Uncle Sam," Dib pointed up. "Okay, if you're not flying that thing - who is?"

"Hi there!" someone poked his head out the pilot's window and waved. He shouted to be heard above the roar of the blades. His antenna and crimson eyes said the rest.

Dib gave Gaz an 'are you nuts?' look. "Skoodge?! You let HIM fly you?"

She shrugged. "What can I say, he likes flying stuff." Looking up, she shouted, "Hey, front and center you dummy! I'd like to go home in one piece!" To Dib she said with real concern, "How you feeling?"

"All right. I could use some food and about ten days sleep." He rubbed his sore neck. "Let's get the hell out of here."

Gaz nodded and climbed on the ladder. Dib followed her.

***


	2. New Trouble, Old Trouble

***

__

"There's someone in my head but it's not me." - Pink Floyd "Brain Damage"

***

Never could she imagine it would hurt this much.

Nia pulled herself up the ravine wall. Every now and again she would open her mouth and let out a silent scream of agony. Logically she shouldn't have been moving; the wound was still too tender. Forcing what strength remaining in her, she managed to scale the wall that had been impossible for her quarry to climb. Being Irken helped, she gave an inward chuckle. Removing her gloves, she tracked out her claws and used them as grappling hooks. By the time she managed to reach the top and flop belly up to the sky, her muscles were screaming. Nia gave herself a moment to pant heavily, to recover from her ordeal.

"Goddamn it," she muttered, her voice croaking from disuse. She turned over on her hands and knees and forced her agony-ridden body to its feet. Woozily she looked down from whence she came. Yep, the human was still there, blissfully asleep. Watching him now, she felt confused and angry. What happened between them couldn't be explained by any of her training as a soldier. He had shot her with that primitive but very effective weapon, left her basically to drown in her own blood, traded insults with her and then - inexplicably - helped her. Not only helped her but stayed with her during much of the course of the night.

__

And I let him, she made a face and turned away. _Ugh_. Humans disgusted her to no end and when she'd been ordered to capture this one alive, it only added to her revulsion. Given the perfect chance to eliminate Dib, the single walking danger to the success of Earth's conquest, and that miserable Zim wanted him alive. He was better off dead than alive, she remembered arguing. Besides that, what he was ordering her to do wasn't what she was trained for.

"Are you arguing with Zim?" the male Irken flared from his perch above her in his massive orbiting space station, his magenta colored eyes fierce with hypertension. "Are you QUESTIONING me?!"

Nia calmly took the floodgate of hostility. Zim was always doing that, screaming and over-exercising the power the Tallest had given him. She had grown used to it by now - as she had to most everything.

"No," she replied super-deadly quietly. Thinking, she amended. "Actually yes." He frowned. "What you want me to do doesn't make any sense."

Zim steepled his fingers beneath his chin, his internal struggle to keep his cool under serious onslaught. "Explain."

__

Explain. I have to explain everything to him. Nia fought to keep from groaning. "This human Dib is better dead than alive. His existence has done nothing but delayed things for the Empire. With him out of the way, morale among humans would drop and we'd be able to finally have this planet within our grasp!" She made a fist to emphasize her point.

Zim growled. "I don't care for your pessimism, soldier. You will do as you are told: capture the Dib-human and bring him to me." Pause. "Don't injure him either, humans are delicate creatures." Evil smile. "As you have already seen."

Nia nodded curtly. "Yes sir." She wiggled her antenna and left his chamber, a dark anger clouding her features.

Now thanks to his foolishness, here she was limping around in . . . in this Nevada place. One of their best strongholds was destroyed (thanks to this very human) and to top it off there was a few inches of lead stuck in her squeegily spooch. Again thanks to this Dib-human.

__

What was so special about him? She thought picking her way up a rocky hill. Hopefully when she got to the top she'd be able to get a better look around to see where she was. If she could get back to the stronghold, she could get to her Voot in its secret underground chamber. 

Leaving him hadn't been her first choice. However she wasn't in any condition to capture him - and he was far taller and stronger than she was. Reluctantly she gave it up for what it was: a bad job. It would be hell explaining it to that miserable superior of hers. Not that she cared.

Finally seeing this Dib creature hadn't impressed her. Appearance-wise he was unremarkable for a human, just a typical male of his species. His finely tuned instincts and reflexes, she admitted, were amazing for such a naturally clumsy creature. If her blood-soaked uniform had anything to say for itself, she couldn't doubt his skill with a weapon. For all his stupidity he was possibly the smartest earth-monkey she'd had the poor luck to run into. 

Although she hated to admit it, his odd compassion for her in light of what he had done put her out of sorts. _What am I supposed to do with this?_ she thought. _Zim told me he was a sneaky, cocky, cruel human - he didn't say anything about THIS. _

Nia decided to leave the issue alone. Humans were too complex to figure out. They possessed odd viewpoints and traits considered weaknesses by Irkens. His not killing her had been his mistake. Nia grinned to herself without compunction. _He's going to be sorry he let me live._

Reaching the top of the hill, Nia scanned the terrain. Ugh, what a mess. Dead humans and Irkens everywhere. You couldn't tell the dissenting apart from the loyal Irkens. Green blood mixed with red on the loose desert soil.

__

The Tallest would be angry, she thought. This many dead was a throwback to the invasion. There was a good chance she was the only survivor.

"Stupid humans," she muttered lifting her gaze further. Ah, yes. There it was the remains of the stronghold. With a little more than ten minutes, she could get there and get off this filthy planet.

Before sliding down hill, she spared one last look at the ravine. She felt a deep sense of frustration. Dammit. Just dammit. She had never ever failed in any of her missions before. He would pay for sparing her life. 

Oh how he would pay.

***

"WHAT?!"

Gaz colored a little. "I thought it would be best to tell you before we got there."

Dib slapped himself on the forehead. _God didn't spare me, he just delayed things_. Forcing his feelings back, he hung his head. "Excellent."

"Whatcha guys talkin' bout?" Their Irken pilot called from the front over the loud din of the copter. "We're almost there by the way!"

"Nothing," Dib called back. "Good," he added.

Gaz moved over to sit beside him. "How bad is your leg?"

"Just a flesh wound. Nothing seriously damaging." He sensed the urgency behind her words. "Why?"

Gaz folded her arms. "Something major is happening. The Empire's sending its armada in."

"Yeah?" Dib said vaguely. "So? They've done it like ten thousand times."

"It's more than that, Dib," Gaz told him. "They're actually attacking from the air. No more orbital attacks."

Dib's lower jaw dropped. "Shit. You mean they're gonna do that _Independence Day_ thing?"

"Uh-huh." She didn't look thrilled. "Not the worst part either."

Dib sighed and put a hand to his ear. "Don't tell me there's more good news." He clenched his teeth together and punched the side of the chopper. "Goddamn it."

Gaz went ahead. "Dib, this concerns you personally."

He paid attention.

His sister looked torn. "Zim . . . he knows where you are. He knows you're stationed in Groom Lake."

Dib paled. "Th-That's impossible. Everyone - we all agreed . . ." He groaned. "Nothing is sacred anymore. Not even hiding places." A kind of haunted glaze came over his eyes. "I'll have to leave. If I stay there, he'll level the place. I . . . We can't let that happen again."

Gaz nodded.

Her brother's shoulders sagged. "I'm so fucking sick of this."

She said nothing.

He raised his eyes, his face fierce and unreadable at the same time. "Maybe I should just give myself up."

Gaz's mouth opened and she shook her head. "No. You can't, Dib. He wins if you do that." She laid her hand on his arm. "You're probably one of the last chances we have at beating this assholes. If you give yourself up to the Empire, it's like telling them they win." She paused and anxiously continued when he didn't answer. "Dib?"

Her brother suddenly looked at her. There was something about him that she had never seen before. A weariness. A sense of defeat. "Gaz, I love you," he said simply.

She held up a hand and tried to play it off. "Whoa, Dib, you don't have to gross me out anymore. Just looking at you is enough to do the job."

It worked. He burst out laughing and inadvertently smacked on the injury. He shouted an obscenity. Gaz snickered and gave his shoulder a squeeze before going up front to sit with Skoodge. In truth his admission had frightened her. If Dib was starting to say things like that, things that were usually left unsaid, he was thinking about doing something drastic. It worked in cycles like this between them. It seemed like every single time Dib went out to fight, he would come to her before they left and muttered a confession of having wronged her in some way. Long she'd forgiven him his transgressions and told him so. He never believed her.

This latest one scared her most of all. The last time he told her he loved her was after she'd been released from the Empire - near death as a result from what the Irkens (Zim specifically) had done to her. She been unconscious but aware of sound and she remembered him crying at her bedside (the last time she ever heard him cry) and begging her to live. When she woke later, she never told him she knew he did that nor did he bring it up, figuring since she didn't mention it, she didn't remember it. But she remembered it.

When she slid in beside Skoodge, the alien cheerfully looked up and grinned. "How's he?"

"Middling. Kind of out of it, if you know what I mean."

He nodded. "Yup. I sure do." Pause. "No, I don't."

Gaz laughed and gave the former little invader a poke. She liked Skoodge a lot; he was cute in a puppy dog kind of way. His innocence reminded her of Gir, Zim's recently late SIR unit (the little bot was destroyed quite by accident by Zim himself). Putting on a helmet, she took back her position as co-pilot. "So what have we got here?"

Skoodge tapped the radar screen. "No Irken blips for the next thirty miles. Think it's safe to say we're gonna make it back." He appeared proud of himself.

"Great." Gaz smiled at him awkwardly. She was not used to being friendly. "Thanks for doing this, Skoodge."

"Hey," the alien replied breezily, "no problem. I understand the importance of the Dib-human to your victory."

Not the reason why I rescued him but like Irkens understand the ties between blood relatives! The woman's hand moved the joystick and helped Skoodge get over a mountain peak. "Do you think Earth will win in the end?"

"Of course!" Skoodge gave her a look that decried the absurdity of her statement. "Your people are capable of changing tactics at the last minute and to ad-lib according to the conditions as they change. Irkens don't do as well with that." He shrugged. "Take the last battle as an example."

__

I'm glad he's so optimistic. Gaz nodded. "I guess you're right."

In the back, Dib listened to their conversation. He felt Skoodge was wrong and the melancholic answer his sister gave told him her sentiments echoed his. Both he and Gaz felt all this fighting would end up in futility. In the end the enemy would stomp them all out of existence. Irk always won in the end. If it came to that, he and Gaz made a deadly pact to make sure they wouldn't have to suffer that kind of humiliation. He desperately hoped it wouldn't come to that. He wanted to see the end of this. Earth HAD to win. 

Dib shut his eyes and cleared his mind. He wondered where that Invader Nia had gone to. Crawled off to die in peace? Some animals did that when they were dying. Or had she recovered enough to get away? If so, then why hadn't she taken his gun and forced him to go with her if her mission had been to capture him? Irkens were kind of dense, he could bet it probably hadn't crossed her mind. _Thank God._

Killing her would have been better. He'd done it all the time to Irkens in battle, why had it been so difficult to shoot her? Maybe it was because she was unarmed. Cold blood wasn't Dib's thing. So helpless and bloody she'd looked lying on the ground. Despite her hateful tone and foul manner, her dark eyes had been so frightened. Unlike most of the other defiant alien soldiers, who died with the determination still shining in their eyes, Nia's eyes had been . . . faraway. Removed from where she was, like she wasn't really THERE. 

Dib shook his head of the thought. No, it wasn't that at all. He'd seen what he wanted to see, what he wished he could see. It would be better to forget about the incident. 

__

Besides, he thought with a certain amount of annoyance, _I have other problems to deal with._

***

Being the boss, Zim reflected, was hard.

A lot of Irkens would think the Tallest and other high ranking soldiers led the good life cruising on privilege's good will. Not true, as this short little green alien found out. It was easier being the recipient of orders rather the giver of them because the giver of orders had to . . . I dunno, make up some pretty intelligent orders.

__

I am running on empty, as those inferior humans like to say.

Zim sat back in his chair - truthfully it seemed like he hardly left it these days anymore. He could barely leave the room either - the computer was always beeping with some communication from someone or other. Fervently he wished everything would just shut down for a couple of minutes. Just a few minutes of silence.

"I can't," he grumbled letting his skinny arms flop over the arms of the chair. "I have to sit here and scream orders like some crazy thing!" He didn't have the energy for a fit so he just added a sigh in. "I want to be out there, I want to be the one going after . . . after _him_! I hate wagging my tongue, expecting others to do what Zim should be doing! IS THERE NO JUSTICE?!"

The PA interrupted his tirade. "Invader Nia is here to see you, sir."

"Perfect. Send her in." He hit a button. "This better be good," he muttered swiveling around to face the chamber door. 

Invader Nia entered, looking as haughty and conniving as she'd been when she'd left. Zim was first to admit he was rather fond of this Irken - her sharp mind and cool manner were qualities that reminded him of himself at his best. But her smoldering aversion towards him all too well reminded him of someone else. Someone else she'd been sent to retrieve.

He eyed her suspiciously, a bit put off at her apparent listlessness and the large fresh bandage around her midsection. The color in her face wasn't very good and one of her legs kind of dragged. Scooting to the edge of his seat, he trembled inwardly with anticipation.

Invader Nia put both hands behind her back. Her antenna rose once and lowered. The body language told Zim all he needed.

He roared. "WHY CAN'T I FIND COMPETENT SOLDIERS AROUND HERE?!" Softly he added in a barely contained rage, "What happened?"

Nia squinted an eye at him. "He shot me."

"So?"

The female frowned at him. "I was in the process of dying, Zim."

Zim clenched his teeth together. "Address me properly before you decide to open your noise hole."

"I was in the process of dying, Zim, _sir_," she repeated sarcastically. _Dumbass_, he could practically hear her think. He almost went blind with anger at the implication.

"Tell me EXACTLY why you failed. Why you could not do this one simple thing I have sent a thousand others to do."

Nia approached him, encroaching personal and professional boundaries as a result. "I failed, sir, because you have us chase this worm with the assumption he has not changed in the last ten years. He is GOOD, sir, very good." Nia spoke through her teeth, which wasn't a good thing in females. If human men thought human women were bitches, they needed a wake-up call. She made an angry gesture to accentuate. "He managed to avoid me during the entire battle. Hadn't he been such an amazingly good shot, I would have gotten him. His size and strength also give him twice the advantage."

Zim curled his claws into the armrests. "What do you mean?"

Nia growled. "He's no longer in the human definition 'a child.' He has become a full grown member of his species. Unless you come to understand that he does NOT have the mentality of an Irken at that age, you will NEVER capture him."

Zim didn't like this indictment one bit and considered terminating Nia on the spot for pure spite. "You're saying . . . I must treat him as of one of superior intelligence. That he is as amazing as . . . as Zim." He spat.

Nia gave him a Look saying this was something that ought to have occurred to him a long time ago. "Read whatever you want into what I'm telling you, sir. I only know what I saw when I met him." She turned to go the defiant little thing not even bothering to be dismissed yet.

Zim got up and reached out to her. "WAIT!"

Nia stopped and came back.

He got nervous. "Um . . ." Zim stopped, rehearsed what he wanted to ask and then went on. "What did he look like?"

"Huh?"

__

Reword. "The last time I saw him was when he was barely a worm five years ago."

Nia waited a moment, trying to maneuver around the odd inquest. "He's very tall. Doesn't wear those 'glasses' and he doesn't dress in black, as you described. Frankly he resembles a typical earth adult male." Shrug. "Nothing special, if you ask me."

"Oh." He waved her off. She marched out in obvious relief. When she was gone, he hopped over to his terminal. "Computer?"

"Yes?"

"Activate camera five on the orbiting satellite. I want to see where Groom Lake is located."

Pause. "Camera five unavailable."

"What? How is that possible?" Zim was perplexed.

"It blew up."

"How?"

"The humans sent a missile up and it exploded."

"Oh." Zim scratched his head and fished for solutions. "Ohhhkaaaay, how about camera

six?"

Beep. A screen winked on. It had a dead center shot of the United States. Pressing a few commands and coordinates, the screen zoomed in on Nevada and then kept doubling in until Groom Lake filled the picture. Zim tilted his head to the side, observing the military compound. Nice little set up the humans had there . . . too bad it was going to be a smoking ruin soon. He grinned nastily. 

A helicopter appeared after a few minutes. "Ooh, what's going on?" Zim murmured to himself. He hit another switch and it focused so closely on the base, the camera could have been right there on the runway.

It circled and landed. Humans and Irken traitors who were working outside ran up to the helicopter and waited it out as it landed with a lot of noise and wind gusts from its rapidly rotating whirligig-thing. Primitive though human technology was, the copter was a cool display of raw power.

The first being to dismount the machine was someone Zim recognized. His mouth dropped. Skoodge?! He didn't even know the alien had betrayed the Empire! Well, at least he knew where he'd been all these past few months. One mystery solved at least.

The next was Gaz. Zim's mouth dropped, having not seen her since she was a short eighteen-year-old worm-baby. Now she was taller and everything about her screamed the realities of human maturity. He could bet her unusually sharp human mind had improved too. Zim still kicked himself for letting her go when he did. Squirmy humans.

She started walking away from the chopper, seemed to hear something behind her and came back to it. Reaching in, she helped someone jump out. He half-collapsed on her, making her stumble. Putting his arm over her shoulder, she called to a few humans standing nearby who came and aided her. Curiously Zim zoomed in further on this human and gasped.

Invader Nia hadn't been kidding.

"Dib." He said his enemy's name with same amount of relish he always did. He grinned evilly. 

***

Later after receiving proper medical treatment, Dib was walking around Area 51 like he hadn't a care in the world. Everyone was immensely relieved to see him alive, humans gave him hugs and handshakes while rebel aliens either smiled at him or saluted in the manner of their race. He reported to his general everything that had happened (except for the part about helping the alien he'd shot) until there was no more to say. What else _could_ be said? The stronghold was destroyed, objective completed. Then of course there was the issue of Dib's next place to hide. He left the debriefing room with the expectation his next move would be told to him later in the day.

Dib sat on the bench in his co-ed locker room, staring into his open locker. It wasn't personalized like the other ones around him: he almost never stayed long enough in one place to express his individuality. 

"Hi Dib."

Dib moved his gaze without moving any other part of him. He cursed inwardly. "Hello Ned." Just the person he didn't want to talk to. Bad enough the man stole his ex-wife's heart, he had the nerve to be ever so friendly to her ex-husband. But he understood Ned's position, being that he was one of Gaz's friends. _Part of the package deal_, Dib guessed. _Crap_.

Ned opened his locker. The man was in uniform, looking about as professional as a lab technician had to be. The man worked under Professor Membrane - a fact that continually pissed Dib off. Would this nightmare never end? Insomuch did he mind the man, given the guy was perfectly civil and so gosh-darned stand-up. Brown hair, blue eyes, to die for smile only women aspired to. Likable in all other regards. Except one.

"Glad to see you back," Ned continued in his chatty way. "I just arrived here yesterday with Michelle so I don't have all the details. I aim to get em all by the end of the day."

"You do that."

Oblivious to Dib's obvious contempt, he merrily went on his way. Dib stood up after a minute and started putting some personals into duffel. No telling how soon he would have to leave, it was good to be prepared. He went over to the sink and started the painful, irritating business of removing his contact lenses.

"Excuse me, have you seen Ned?" came a soft, shy female voice.

Dib froze. _Shit_. Blearily he stood over the sink, blinking hard as his eyes watered in aggravation. The lenses were out but what a job. Wiping them with the back of his sleeve, he put his glasses on and turned reluctantly to face her.

There she was. A tallish woman with dark blue eyes, strawberry blond hair and enough make-up to kill a supermodel. Since she was a civilian, she was wearing blue slacks and a black turtleneck sweater. 

Dib gave her a wary reply. "Yes, he just left." He moved passed her and to his locker. He gave an inner groan when she chose to follow. _No, no, spare me please._

Michelle stood behind him and crossed her arms. Dib stopped what he was doing and turned around to face her. They were so close in height, they almost met eye-for-an-eye. "What is it?" he asked impatiently. "He's not here."

She glared at him. "Dib, we need to talk."

He slammed his locker shut with more force than was necessary. "There's nothing to say." He eyed her. "Unless there's somehow ANOTHER paper I have to sign. You already have every stick of furniture, every asset imaginable to mankind in your pocket. I can't fathom there was something I forgot."

Michelle narrowed her eyes. "It's not about that. All the paperwork is in order. That's NOT what I want to talk to you about."

Dib shouldered his bag. "Then what? What could you possibly have to say to me now?"

"I was thinking . . . maybe . . ." Michelle shrugged. "We could patch things up. Make peace."

He gave an angry laugh and started walking away. "I know what your version of making peace is. Yell and more yelling."

Michelle tagged along behind him. "Hey, _I_ don't start the yelling. _You're_ the one that starts with all the yelling. Don't dump it all on me!"

He halted and faced her like she was his worst enemy. In a way, she kind of was. "I wouldn't talk, Mic. Your accusatory tangents sound just as mean when you say them softly as when they're yelled at the top of your lungs."

Michelle's mouth opened and closed. He had her there. She moved on to something else: her frustration. "I can't _believe_ I married you."

Dib got in her face for a second. "Same here."

Michelle made a fed up sound. So did Dib and he kept on heading out. Michelle glowered and stood at the entrance and shouted after him as he walked down the hall. An Irken had the misfortune of being there to witness.

"I hate you!"

"The feeling is mutual!" he replied and disappeared around a corner.

Michelle shot death rays with her eyes after him before noticing the Irken's huge eyes staring at her.

"Please don't tell me it's like that," he mewled.

"It's not," she muttered going in the opposite direction. "It's worse." 

She didn't know it, but in about a few more hours, these words would come back to her.

***


	3. Fire In the Sky

***

__

"We are like sheep without a shepherd

We don't know how to be alone

So we wander around this desert

And wind up following the wrong gods home." - Eagles "Learn to Be Still"

***

The evening Groom Lake went to hell began like any ordinary night. At least an ordinary a one for the stragglers of the human race living on paranoia, nerves and wits for their three meal daily requirement. The difference between the sun and moon didn't matter to a people once enslaved to the clock. Each moment passing was another second the Earth grew dangerously closer and closer to losing the masters of its ground. The war was more Armageddon than anyone would have liked to believe - although the Devil was green, small and blood eyed. And this Devil was always watching, always waiting . . .

Everyone was off somewhere else when it happened. Tragically no one knew WHEN the armada was going to attack. In the last forty-eight hours no enemy ships were detected either via radar or satellite. The Empire wasn't sending any reports to Earth either through computer or transmission. Due to several contradicting reports coming from all sides of the United States (not to mention the ones from Hawaii and Japan) intelligence was left scratching their heads in confusion. Everything LOOKED right. Yet there was the general pervasive feeling NOTHING was right. 

That's what kept the whole planet wide-awake.

Gaz, being one of those poor individuals trapped behind computer screens with both eyes open and both hands tied, was stressing over the competing reports for hours. Totally dedicated to her post, she was the only technician still up around twelve in the morning. Sitting alone in the NASA sized control room three floors underneath the ground; she hunkered over one of hundreds of glowing terminals. Bent over like an old woman, she perched in the plastic chair, her eyes focused utterly on the paper before her. On the edge of her nose perched reading glasses: years of squinting down at video game screens had taken their toll on her eyesight. Beside her workstation sat a half-eaten sandwich and a long empty Styrofoam cup. Evidence of her whole-hearted determination. Evidence of her own self-neglect.

__

I don't care how long I have to be in here, we will not get caught by surprise, she thought fiercely. That single thought was what kept her running throughout the hours. Her eyes were burning for want of sleep and her neck hurt like the dickens. Plus her whole body jittered controllably. Glancing at her watch, air escaped her lips. "Shit." No wonder her hands were starting to shake. Forgot to take her damn medication. Again.

Slapping down the papers, Gaz stretched. When she moved to get up, her knees buckled. Startled by this unexpectance, she gave a small cry and caught the edge of the chair. Easing down into it again, she let out a shuddery breath. It would be so easy to get sick of this, so easy to just give into it. Every day it came a little closer, a littler nearer to the breaking point. She wondered often if she suffered needlessly. Longingly she gazed into her empty Styrofoam cup, picked it up and discarded it over her shoulder. _Suffer needlessly? Puh, we all suffer needlessly. Who am I to think I'm any different?_

"Hey."

Gaz perked up, a little startled. She relaxed. "Oh hi, Dib."

Her brother sat beside her. She accepted the cup of coffee he handed her. "Dad told me you were working in here." His eyes flicked over her working area. "How long have you been at it?"

Gaz rubbed her neck. "I don't know. I guess I came in 'round six or so."

"It's almost one." Dib folded his long coat over his legs. "You mean you haven't taken a break since then?"

"No." Yawning she went on, "I haven't slept in over seven hours." She closed her fingers into her palms and pressed her knees together. Her brother saw her do this and fear crossed his pale face.

"Gaz, did you take your meds?"

Busted. She shook her head. If he could see her shaking, it was useless to deny it.

Dib looked worried for real now. He leaned in. "You can't wait till the last second to take them. It's VERY . . ."

She impaled him with a glare. "Don't start with that. I know. I just forget sometimes, okay?" Gaz reached into her pocket and pulled out a bottle. Taking a pill out she took it with her coffee. "I'm not stupid," she added quietly. "I know how bad it can get."

He nodded. "I just get scared."

Gaz patted him on the shoulder. "I'm okay. I'm going to be okay. This thing, I'm dealing with it. It'll go away on its own, I just need to handle it until it does." She exhaled. It was working; the shaking in her whole body was stopping.

A familiar silence passed between them. They both knew it wasn't going to go away. It never would.

"I'm going to kill him," she heard him mutter under his breath. Dark shadows leapt in his face. 

__

Oh no. Please not tonight. Gaz touched his knee. "Dib, let it go."

He brushed her off. "I can't!" With a jerk, he stood and walked over to the enormous screen at the front of the room projecting a map of the United States. He gestured angrily. "It fucks with me all the time." Making a fist, he put it between his eyes. "Why?"

His sister spread her hands. "I was there. When they smoked us out of the New York hideout, Zim caught me. He wanted you and got me." Shrugged. "It was a shitty series of events but hey," she tried false cheer, "he let me live."

"Barely."

Gaz got up. "But I LIVED, Dib. He even told me while he was . . . doing that to me, it was nothing personal." _Block out mental image, block out mental image._

What a scream. He whipped around on her. "Bullshit. If it wasn't personal, why'd he do it to you? Huh?"

"I don't know." Gaz went over to him, trying to placate him. "Look, it doesn't matter anymore. It happened seven years ago. I let it go. It's about time you did too." Over and over. They went through this argument a thousand times and he never listened. _He knows I'm right, why won't he hear me?_

Dib only turned his back to her. "Let it go." He barked a laugh. "That's really funny, Gaz. You ought to be a comedian." He didn't mean to sound so nasty, it just came out that way.

Gaz felt her lower jaw stiffen. God, she wanted to hurt him. She started toward him and caught herself. Forget it. Hurting him never made her feel better. Besides they were adults now and they had responsibilities to things other than themselves. Immature sibling rivalry crap needed to die in a major way between them. It was so hard dealing with him these last few years. There used to be a part of him that was happy, that could still laugh when danger bore its face. Once they'd gotten past those awful years they couldn't stand each other, it was wonderful. Even with the war breaking out, sure it would drive them apart, Gaz waited for him to abandon her and go off like the lone ranger to fight for the planet. Instead of letting him do that, she did one better. She joined him. 

Now though . . . . Something was different and it had started that horrid day she'd almost died. Whatever that had killed the little boy he'd once been . . . . Whatever strange invader capable of reaching inside her brother's soul to take it without permission. . . she wanted to find and kill it herself. Her brother was nothing more than the embodiment of contempt, guilt and slowly burning out perseverance. Gone was the determination, the stamina, the energy – the life.

He was a shell of his former self.

"Dib," she started after a silence had passed. He didn't answer. "Dib, please."

Eventually he looked at her.

Hoping he'd hear her, she put her hands together, almost like she was praying. "Promise me no matter how bad it gets, you won't give in to your hate."

Silence.

"This is _really_ important to me, Dib." She carefully hoarded her desperation inside. Generally she gestured, indicating Out There. "Look," she raised her voice. "I've put up with your BS for a lot longer than most people have had to. God knows you put up with mine." She narrowed her eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I'll put up with as much of it as I have to. But I can't put up with your giving in to this thing. I won't!"

Dib was quiet for a few more minutes longer. Then he nodded.

__

Yes. Okay. He's going to do it. His sister smiled. "I'm turning in." She started to leave and paused. "I'm sorry about what happened with Michelle earlier."

He shook his head and made a face. "So am I."

They laughed. She waved good night and left.

A few minutes later, Dib was gone too. An hour elapsed. No one saw the green on black screens fill with the red blips or the lights blink. No one saw the huge WARNING sign light up in a maddening orange glow.

But everyone heard the sirens. 

***

The armada swept down upon Groom Lake like invisible bees. Invisible bees that shot their stingers, lasers coming from the sky like deadly bright red rain. The ground crews and night patrols scouting the perimeter were the first to see the death coming at them from the sky. Most of them died without even knowing they'd been killed. Rebel Irken soldiers knew this attack immediately for what it was and urged any human with his or her head on straight to head for the underground. Underground was the only safe place, they shouted. It would be a damned foolery to fight this one off.

Even so, Dib would think it a cold day in hell if there came the day he wouldn't fight back. The sight of those Irken symbols maddened his blood, pounded in his temple. Caught outside when the blitz of alien fire began, Dib stood for a moment, watching the vague forms of Irken ships the color of the night sky with the stars shining through their transparent cloaking devices. 

A small hand with a black glove tugged on his sleeve. He looked down. A small male Irken with red eyes (who particularly had more than a passing resemblance to Zim than most others) stood beside him. His antenna twitched in crazy agitation. Dib recognized him as former Invader Spunk.

"Dib, sir!" he blubbered. "You have to get underground! Most of the civilians are already . . ."

"I'm not going underground." Dib gently tugged his sleeve out of the tiny alien's claw. 

Spunk looked frightened. "But you have to!" After a millisecond, he added shrewdly. "You can't combat this one, sir."

Dib's lower jaw stiffened. Did everyone already understand him so well? All the rebel aliens seemed to. "We can't just let those bastards run us over with a fine tooth comb." He transferred his gaze from the sky to the tiny Irken. "I should have left sooner."

Spunk grabbed his sleeve again and started to tug him back toward the nearest hangar. Panic completely lit his eyes. "Please! Listen to reason, sir!" 

Dib let himself be dragged, partly because all the fiery wreckage was starting to fall a little too close for comfort. A Jeep was suddenly blown sky high. Dib grabbed the tiny Irken, hugged him to his body and rolled under a large ATV vehicle. The fireball of a Jeep landed just inches away.

After untangling himself from the folds of the human's clothes, Spunk peeked out. Clearly his glassy eyes showed his fear twofold times more than it already expressed. Glancing quickly at his human savior - and new friend now - Spunk spoke. "Thank you, sir."

"Dib."

"Huh?"

The human gestured to the alien he follow him. "I don't like being called 'sir.'"

Spunk squinted one eye, crawling after the human. "You're a lieutenant aren't you?" he asked coming out behind Dib on the other side of the ATV. He brushed off his dark purple uniform (purple now to differentiate from the red ones the Empire wore).

Dib shrugged. It didn't matter to him WHAT his stupid rank was. When it came time to survival, whoever had the best idea at the moment was leader. "I could be a shoe polish clerk and it would make about the same difference." They reached the hangar and as they drew close to it, Dib leapt up and grabbed the closed door. Riding it as it went up, he jumped off and got inside. Spunk came immediately after, slapping the switch by it to close it. Despite most of the power being down, the hangar lights remained lit, casting dim shadows everywhere. Inside was what Dib was looking for: an Irken armada ship. It was the same kind the Empire was using to level Area 51.

Spunk knew Dib's intentions right away. He paused uncertainly. "Do you know how to fly one of those things?"

"Yes." Dib pointed to it. "Do you happen to know if they modified this one so humans can use it?"

"No." Spunk kicked the ground sheepishly. "That one . . . it's kind of . . . mine."

Another explosion outside. It rocked the hangar. The lights flickered. Dib hoped mightily Gaz and his father were underground with everyone else. They likely were, he'd seen Gaz go to her room shortly before the first strike shook the base and his dad always turned in early. They were safe, he repeated to himself several times. They had to be.

Dib rested a hand on its metal nose. He thought for a second and then turned back to Spunk. His eyes said it all for him.

Spunk trembled. "I-I don't know. I c-can't maneuver as well and-and . . ."

"I'll help you," Dib said desperately. "Please, we've got to do this."

The alien procrastinated for another second and then reluctantly got into the ship. Dib hauled himself in afterward, squeezing into the tiny seat. Once he'd been able to fit into these things effortlessly but unfortunately the ships were made for a one size fits all . . . all that were small. Spunk - the size of the average ten-year-old - jumped into the pilot's seat. Making a show of it, he flexed his knuckles and stretched out. "Prepare to see some bona fide flying! I may not maneuver that fast but I can fly this baby sweeter than the most experienced human pilot alive!"

"This baby?" Dib repeated watching the specially made door on the top of the hangar open with the touch of a button on the ship's onboard computer system.

Spunk shrugged and "turned the key." "Highway to the danger zone!"

__

Oh great, Dib rolled his eyes as the ship rose quickly off the ground_. I'm stuck with an Irken who listens to Kenny Loggins!_ He grabbed whatever sides of the craft he could as it made a jumpy kick shoving into high gear. Mach 1 to Mach 3 in two seconds, it wasn't the world's most pleasurable feeling.

Shooting into the night sky, Dib caught a fleeting glimpse of the ground. "Jesus," he whispered, his eyes enlarging. Almost every standing structure was a ball of fire. There were a few people still running around outside - and from some of the hangars where Irken ships were kept other Irkens and human pilots had grasped the same idea, were open. Some exploded before getting airborne while others vanished behind their own cloaking devices. To the naked eye, enemy and friend were indistinguishable. Fortunately the computers told who was who using purple for the enemy and orange for the others.

Spunk was horrifically awed. "By Irk's Will, the horror!"

A shot bounced off their shield. The ship rocked violently back and forth, jarring its passengers silly.

Spunk recovered and reasserted his claws on the controls. Touching a few places, the thing shot straight up and forward. Dib banged his head. "Ow!" he rubbed it vigorously. "Want to be more careful?"

Spunk just grinned. "That's what seatbelts are for."

"This one has a seatbelt?" Dib found it and strapped himself in. "Neat." Quickly he diverted his attention to outside. "Okay, here's what we do. We stay on stealth and take out about as many Empire ships as we can. Let's try using the buddy system. In fact, we should make sure everyone else uses it too." 

Spunk nodded and flew them close to another friendly fighter. He hit the transmission. "This is Invader Spunk, do you need help?"

"Invader Lura here," came a rather dulcet female voice. "I need help like a stink-beast needs a shower! This one's been on my hull since I took off!"

Dib leaned in. "How many?"

"Just one. Is that Dib?"

"Yes," Spunk replied. "He's my co-pilot." He came in close above Invader Lura's ship, her vessel only visible on radar. There was a purple ship chasing her as she kept weaving back and forth, trying to keep the thing from getting a lock on her. Spunk cut back the engines so he fell behind the enemy. "Okay, Dib, hit it!"

Dib touched the firing mechanism. The laser nailed the Empire ship in the back, blew off an exhaust outlet and sent it plummeting Earth bound where it would promptly explode.

Wasting no time on celebration, they caught up with Invader Lura and together they mowed on through whoever attacked them, using various techniques. Dib thought for them, his mind clicking and humming away at strategies. Allowed to keep an almost outside vigil, it enabled Spunk to concentrate on perfecting his maneuvers while the human figured out the next turn and fired the lasers.

"Is that all of them?" Lura asked tentatively after ten solid minutes of playing dodge-the-laser-beam with the last ship. "What's your thing say?"

Dib looked at the 3-D screen before him. "Air space within the next three miles is clear. I wouldn't relax though, this has happened before. Next thing you know, they're all over you again."

"Tell me about it." Pause. "Thanks a lot you two. Spunk, I owe you one."

Spunk colored. "Nah, it wasn't nothing. Wait," he frowned. "You OWE me one?"

"Yep."

"You do not!" Helplessly perplexed he looked at the human. "What does she owe me?"

Dib chuckled and gave his new friend an affectionate push on the side of the head. "She owes you the same for what you did for her just now."

"Oh." Spunk felt stupid. He brightened. "Thank you too, Lura."

The female alien was laughing throughout the entire transmission. "Welcome. Thank you too, Dib. Couldn't have done it this good without you."

Dib blushed. Didn't matter the species or the age, he still turned red whenever a female complimented him. Winning over the opposite sex with his prowess and skill was sort of important to Dib. Probably came from all those times he strived to impress his sister - and Michelle.

__

Freeze right there, buddy. Still, he hoped she was okay. Michelle was a bitch but he had loved her once. It counted for something.

"Just doing my job," Dib replied the same as he always did to praise. "Keep on your alert. This may not be the end of it."

"Gotcha." Lura flew off to check the rest of the valley.

Switching off, Spunk heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Man. I thought we were going to buy the barn on that one."

"Farm."

"Whatever." The alien looked at Dib and smiled sadly. "I guess you'll be leaving after all this is over, huh?"

Dib shrugged and sat back, his legs were falling asleep. Goddamn it was cramped in here.

"Yeah." He sounded depressed.

Spunk touched his arm. "Hey, it's for the best. No one wants to see you fall into that bastard Zim's claws. I never liked him going to the Academy - truth be told, he scared the hell out me. You're better off running."

Dib listened to the alien and gradually nodded. "But still . . . will I have to keep running forever? Maybe Zim is content to chase me for the rest of his life, it's fine by him because he's got a couple of centuries to go. Me, I'm human. I don't have that luxury." He shut his eyes. "I'll have to kill him." Unlike before, when he said it with such repressed hatred, he said it reluctantly.

Spunk heard it. "You don't want to kill him." He guided the craft back toward Groom Lake. It was easier to see it in the darkness than usual - with all the fires and whatnot. A bit confused, he glanced at the human out the corner of his eye. "Why . . . if he causes you so much misery?"

Dib shrugged. "I guess it's because I've known him a lot longer than I've known most anyone, not including my sister. He's the first being from another world I've ever met. At twelve, you can't imagine what that was like for me. To see a real live alien, to talk to him, to see all the wonders he brought with him." Dib laughed. "Zim was basically God to me. Not God in a worshipping kind of sense, but he was kind of an actualization of everything I believed to be true." He couldn't believe he was telling this to Spunk, someone he barely knew - and an alien to boot! "I just wish . . . ." Dib stopped when he felt the hot tears sting behind his eyes. "I wish I could be the person he still thinks I am. He'll want to kill me when he finds out who I am now."

Spunk listened, not understanding but the real emotion behind the words made him actually understand it in a way not entirely conscious to even himself. "Maybe . . ." Pause. Then he looked at Dib in full. "How long has it been since you've seen each other face to face?"

"Five years."

"Hmm." Spunk became thoughtful. "This may not sound appealing to you, Dib, but I think you _do_ need to face him after all. At least send him a transmission. If he's on your ass because he thinks this is a game, you have to let him know it's NOT." He went back to flying the craft, circling for a place to land. "Take my advice or not, it's up to you."

Dib nodded, distracted by a fit of troubled thoughts. They ceased when the ship touched down. Brought back now was the reality of the situation, the dire consequences of the aftermath of the attack. There were the injured to be tended to, those who were still in jeopardy and the bodies of the dead to be discovered and buried.

Dib stepped out after Spunk when the ship landed. He slumped against the hull of the ship as his mind registered the chaos surrounding him. He wanted to run away into the night, away from the fire, away from the death, away from the enemy and most of all . . . he wanted to run away from himself.

***


	4. Aftermath

***

_"Nothing I must do_

_Nowhere I should be_

_No one in my life to answer to but me." - Richard Marx "One More Time"_

_***_

"OH YEAH!"

Zim was ecstatic. It had been a long time since he'd be overjoyed by anything - anything at ALL. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this good about something, this good about what it meant to be in the "honored" position he was in. But now, from what Irken satellite cameras were telling him, it appeared the Empire had indeed achieved its quota for the day. 

Groom Lake - destroyed.

Fate was singing its praises for him now. And why not? He was Zim! For once he jumped out of his chair and paraded around the room. Once in a while in the long stream of laughter a loud whoop would interrupt. Sometimes it was a whoop, other times he shouted, "VICTORY!" He even left his post and wandered the corridors of the space station, grabbing any Irken personnel and screaming, "CAN YOU FEEL IT?!" Thinking he'd lost whatever wits he'd had left, they shrank from him and hurried away.

"Zim, sir, put me down."

Zim actually LOOKED at whom he was holding and came out of his fever of joy. Invader Nia. _What a way to put a damper on the occasion_. Putting her down, he scrowled briefly and quickly put on an officious face. "I suppose you heard."

"I did." Her tone seethed barely concealed bitterness.

Zim lost his composure - he wasn't one to hold back ANYTHING. Pointing out a window at Earth, he grinned. "What do ya think?"

_I think you're an idiot_, she wanted to say. Instead she drew her tiny form up as tall as it would - though there was no way she could be any taller than him. Her face showed a flicker of discomfort for a second. Her injury still bothered her, despite all the painkillers she'd taken for it. Nia despised medicine, especially the kind that came from needles. As a smeet she'd had a bad encounter with one at birth and it haunted her more than she liked to admit.

"I think," she replied languidly, "it has been an astounding success."

Just as she predicted, Zim grinned wider and his tiny frame shook with glee. He must have been at least ten years older than her and he still behaved like a young little thing_. How can it be I'm younger yet I understand things it takes one older than I to understand?_ Nia thought. _If he wasn't such a sadistic bastard, it'd almost be cute._

"Of _course_ it's been an astounding success! It can only come from the mind of Zim!" He exalted and raised his fists above his head. He marched down the hall toward the snack station, his head held high. No doubt about it, he was feeling good. 

He half-wished Gir were still here so he could share his glee with him. But he could simply absolutely forget about it. Gir was gone forever. While Zim had been inspecting huge vats of intensely hot liquid, the bot accompanied him. Freaking out at the heat index, Gir had jumped on top of Zim's head. Forgetting they were on a catwalk above one of the vats, in utter annoyance he'd torn Gir off his head and thrown him aside. Unfortunately "aside" meant "straight down." The alien remembered watching in complete horror as Gir vanished into the mass of red hot stuff and dissolved instantly. The little bot hadn't even screamed.

Zim knew he felt bad about it. It was the only thing he ever let himself feel bad about. Taking on the responsibility of his assistant's meaningless destruction hit him harder than expected. Zim sank into what humans would have termed a "depression" and refused to have contact with ANYONE or ANYTHING for three days. He stewed over it, remembering the robot's devotion to him for the fourteen years the droid had served him.

His insanity, his crazy laughter, his happy-go-luckiness, his inability to understand what was going on around him. Gir had been more of a hindrance than a help but he had to admit, he'd served his use to the fullest capacity in other regards.

Leaving the snack bar with his minimum requirement of carbohydrates, Zim went back to his personal chamber. He thought again about what Invader Nia said and he thought again about the young man he'd seen get off the helicopter. The concepts didn't fit together. Didn't want to fit together. Intellectually Zim understood humans grew as they aged and as they did, they changed physically and mentally. He understood the Dib-human could quite possibly be a completely different person now. But he couldn't accept that. Not emotionally. 

_It's because I haven't changed at all._

Flopping into a chair, his eyes settled on the images on the computer screens. Fire, mayhem, humans and Irken rebels everywhere at once. Bedlam. Ragnarok. All those human names for what they commonly termed "hell." 

It was beautiful.

Zim laughed again. "There has to be some way of making a copy of this to watch when I get bored!"

On one of the screens a figure appeared, almost on cue. Since he was dressed in a familiar clothing style, Zim reacted to it. He sat at the edge of his seat, squinting in close.

He grinned. The human always had an uncanny habit of letting the camera steal his image. Stupid human. 

Dib kind of slumped against the hull of an Irken vessel, both eyes fixed on the ground. He couldn't tell if they were closed. An Irken appeared beside him, staring at the wreckage. When he spoke, the cameras picked up the sound. Zim reached over to a terminal and increased the volume.

" . . . have to get moving," the little rebel was saying. "People need help."

Dib lifted his head as if it weighed two million pounds. "Yes. I know." His voice sounded dead.

The Irken tugged on the bottom of Dib's coat, forcing him to crouch down. He said something very softly to him to which the human nodded. Standing up again, he followed the rebel across the wasteland of Groom Lake. They were gone before the camera was able to adjust itself to follow them.

Fuming, Zim punched the arm of his chair. "Rats." He smirked at his human proverb and turned his attention to a call coming in from the Tallest. Whenever they contacted him these days on rare occasion, Zim always dropped everything to talk to them. Even with the sham they'd pulled over him several years ago, Zim felt honor-bound by the Empire to afford them no less respect than before. In his mind, he sensed they were complete incompetent idiots although Tallest Red seemed shrewder of mind than his co-ruler Tallest Purple. Instinctively Zim kind of kept an eye on both of them. It was easy enough to piece together what they meant or was planning by their constant verbal screw-ups. 

Usually Zim felt a start of doom whenever they called but this time he felt giddy. Boy he had good news for them!

When they appeared, Zim burst out with, "Greetings my Tallest, I have amazing news for you!"

They both eyed him - well, Tallest Red eyed him while Purple seemed more interested whether or not the drink he was holding had ice in it.

"What is it?" Red asked with infinite patience, giving the elbow to Purple who jerked up exclaiming, "What?….Oh!"

Totally stoked, Zim pointed to the monitors. "Thanks to my ingenious plan, the Broom Lake is no more!"

"Don't you mean 'Groom' Lake?" Red corrected him tediously. His expression and body language gave the indication there was somewhere else he'd rather be.

Zim fumbled around a bit. "Uh…ah, yes, Groom Lake. The human resistance has avenged the destruction of our earth-based stronghold!"

"Which was a complete disaster," Purple put in a nearly jaded way. "Really, Zim, it was a bad tactical move to make a stand against that well-planned attack."

"But . . ."

Red saw what Purple was doing and seized on it. "Despite this . . . victory of yours, we feel . . ."

"You shouldn't be in charge . . ." Elbow to gut. "You're too talented to be stuck calling the shots. We need you on the, on the . . ."

"On the front!" Red saved. "Where you could be of more use with your, um, talents."

Zim looked from one to the other. Were they trying to kill him again? It didn't make sense - especially after THIS! Couldn't they ignore the last horrible mistake? He spread his palms out passively. "But my Tallest, haven't I more than enough proven myself to you of my capabilities? Isn't this," he indicated a monitor with a burning aircraft carrier being put out with humans with hoses, "proof that soon enough Earth will be ours?"

"We've seen what you can do, Zim," Red replied patiently. "It's not the problem though. The humans need to be completely pacified before we can do the cannon sweep. You can't really call it a victory until the whole PLANET is purged of threat."

"Yeah!" Purple chimed in. "Plus, you know, we're kind of in a hurry. If you don't conquer it soon with what all that we've given you, we're gonna have to build our wildlife preserve somewhere else."

"Somewhere else?!" Zim was horrified. "After all THIS?!"

Red decided to be straight. "It's taking too long Zim. You're the last invader of your generation who hasn't conquered a planet." He muttered, "How embarrassing."

As Zim fought to articulate a reply, Purple said quickly and gaily, "We have to go, good luck and don't call us we'll call you. Bye!"

The screen winked off.

Zim almost threw himself at it. "No! Wait! My Tallest!" He growled and made fists. "It's all that horrible Dib's fault! I would have HAD the planet already conquered if it wasn't for him!"

"You could just have him killed."

Zim folded his arms and turned his back to the screen. Invader Nia stood leaning against the threshold to his chamber. She'd been back on duty already but at the insistence of the doctor she was stuck on this space station until she was given a clean bill of health. Of all the annoying things, she was stuck talking to Zim since all the other personnel aboard here were so cowed by Zim's awesome fits of rage whenever he caught them slacking, they dared not speak to anyone.

"I told you before," Zim said in a low voice, "that is NOT an option."

"Why?" she challenged, again dispensing with pleasantries and formal address. "Don't you see it doesn't make any sense, this obsession of yours?"

Zim put both hands over his antenna and shook his head. "I can't hear you!"

Fuming Nia walked all the way inside. Glancing around as if to make sure no one was looking, she grabbed Zim by the collar. Startled at her boldness, his eyes widened.

Nia spoke low and slow. "With all due respect, sir, I think it's about time you tell me EXACTLY why it's so fucking important he stays alive." Lost to rage, she pressed their faces together. "If I'm gonna be stuck on this space station with a goddamned hole in my squeegily spooch, I'd like to know why!"

Zim recovered and pushed her off. He really wanted to kill her now. He flexed his hands into two claws. Of all of them, of all the Irkens he'd met in his lifetime, Nia was the only one who reminded him of that damn rebel Tak. Only unlike the late Irken, Nia remained steadfastly loyal to the Empire like a dog to a beef bone. She wasn't exactly great with taking orders from someone who wasn't the Tallest - her reputation for being a hothead showed itself in full here. Despite giving Zim homicidal urges he was disconcerted to find notwithstanding all that, he still liked her. And Zim didn't like anyone except himself.

It's what saved Nia from being killed every time.

_She hates me,_ Zim reminded himself. Her dark green eyes scared the hell out of him they were so filled with the black emotion. 

"Why won't you tell me?" she whispered viciously. "I deserve to know." 

Zim took a step back. "You wouldn't understand."

Nia eyed him. "Does this have anything at all to do what you did to his sister?"

"No."

"You're lying."

Zim backed away until his back touched a large monitor. "So what if I'm lying?" he shot back defensively. "This business of mine is none of yours. You just go and do what Zim tells you because the Tallest made ME in charge! Me! Zim! Not YOU!" After a pause he added slyly, "Are we going to have a problem with that?"

Nia narrowed her eyes. "No sir."

"Good." He flicked his wrist out dismissively. "Run along and do whatever it is you do when you're not doing what Zim tells you."

Nia didn't budge. 

He stalked toward her, fists at his sides. "Did you hear what I said?" He pointed over her shoulder. "GO!"

She regarded him with open hostility. "I want to know."

Forgetting himself, Zim grabbed both her upper forearms and pulled her to him. He was going to insult her in the worst manner an Irken male could insult a female. The best thing she could do what all females did was just let him insult her. After all, she thought, females had their own insults to give.

Nia braced herself.

But instead of going through with it, Zim just made sure their eyes met and then he whispered. "You will turn around," his voice was shaking like he was between fear and rage, "you will leave this chamber and you won't come back unless I need you."

He let her go with a shove.

Nia stumbled back, viewing him with a real sense of fear and - surprisingly - triumph. "You can't do it can you?" she spoke in challenge as she backed away to the door. 

Zim shook and he screamed. "OUT!!"

Grinning, she took one giant step back and the door shut on her smug face.

After the doors closed, Zim gave a frustrated yell of rage and threw an empty bucket that once contained popcorn at it. "YOU KNOW NOTHING! NOTHING!" He panted and grabbed the edges of the doorframe and let his weight sag down. Breathing hard, his eyes shone bright with intensity. This did no good, giving into that kind of rage. Why did she insist on pushing him this far? By Irk's will, he wanted to hurt her. But no. He wanted to save this for someone else. Invader Nia wasn't the one he wanted to hurt like that.

"But . . . I can't kill him. I don't know why. It makes no sense!" he muttered to himself straightening up. 

Suddenly a communication monitor began blinking. A tiny sigh of relief came from Zim when he glanced at it.

Good. The armada was coming back.

***

Dib ran through the medical ward. Behind his slightly clouded glasses, his soft brown-yellow pupils darted around. Every now and then he stopped and grabbed the elbow of any passing nurse or EMT. Always he asked the same question and always the answer he got was a shake of the head.

He stopped in the middle of the hall, breathing hard. His lungs were already wracked from all that smoke he'd inhaled outside helping people and aliens alike get underground to receive treatment. His eyes were burning and his leg throbbed horribly. His mind raced constantly, quickening his alertness while dulling it at the same time. If he didn't start slowing down now, he'd collapse from nervous exhaustion.

"Dib!"

He looked up. A smile of relief twitched his mouth. Finally. "I was looking all over for you."

His sister slowed down from running, panting. "Me too. I was down helping Dad when I heard you were looking for me." She stopped when he gave a start. "No, don't worry, he's okay. When the bombing started he barricaded himself in his room." She gave a short laugh. "Wouldn't let me in! Said how could he sure I wasn't an alien. So I stood outside his door and recited chapter and verse every personal little thing I could think of."

"I hope you didn't mention . . ."

"No, Dib, I wouldn't embarrass you like that."

"Oh yeah you would." Dib winked at her to tell her it didn't matter anymore. "How's everything on your end?"

"Pretty good, considering." Gaz seemed impressed. "They built this place like a modern day Fort Knox."

Her brother thought otherwise. "Hard to believe. Have you been topside?"

She shook her head. "No. How bad is it?"

"Remember that movie _War of the Worlds_? Try picturing that with more fire and more dead bodies." Dib made a motion with his arm. "Completely wiped out."

Gaz stared. "You're kidding." At his nod, she sputtered. "There's got to be SOME things left. What about our ships and planes?"

"Some. They didn't destroy them all." Dib's shoulders slumped. "It's really bad, Gaz," he said softly. The tone of his voice told her he was making an understatement and from that she feared the worst. When Dib said it was 'really bad' he meant it in the worst of ways. "Area 51 has been sacked."

Gaz didn't react and when she did it was in one breath, "Jesus H. Christ."

_Tell me about it._ Dib gave her a tired smile. "I don't think he's going to help."

"Lieutenant Dib!"

Dib sighed. _What now?_ He turned and saw a lady nurse at the end of the hall coming toward him. "You're needed in the medical ward. A patient is asking for you."

"Why?" There were a million other things he needed to attend to, a million other places he was obligated to be. "Can't this wait?"

The nurse was put off by his offhanded manner. "Sir, she can't wait."

Dib heard the meaning. He glanced at Gaz once and then back at the nurse. "She?" Dread turned his stomach. _No. Please. Don't let it be who I think it is_. "I'll be right there." He returned his attention to his sister. "Gaz, they need more people topside. If you're in the middle of something here . . ."

His sister was miles ahead. "I'm there." 

Dib followed the nurse.

***

He reached the medical ward and looked around. The nurse motioned for him toward the room he had come to dread time and time again: the ICU. That room was where people usually went to die - at least from Dib's experience. He'd only known one person who went there who came back. One and only one.

The nurse quietly left him there. She had done all she could do. It was up to him to decide.

Dib's heart pounded and he took a step inside. There were several people in there, wrapped up to the nines, some so brutally burned or injured you couldn't even tell who they were. The first bed he saw entering contained a vague human shape under a white sheet. The single mourner of that shape was - a little to his surprise - a female Irken. She sat on a chair, staring at her hands, completely still. Silently he watched her reach up and cover her face. A shrill mewl almost beyond the range of human hearing emitted from her. They usually didn't make this sound unless they were injured badly or . . . 

. . . . in grief.

Forcing his eyes elsewhere, he looked around the room. There. At the far end near the wall. He knew whom to look for without asking, without needing any information. He 

took another deep breath and approached the bed.

Michelle.

About five hundred tubes were coming from her. A cardiomonitor beeped steadily, slowly, rhythmically. He remembered that sound all too well and he knew all too well the sound it sometimes made. A long, harsh, loud, insane beep. Gaz's monitor had made that sound once. It was a sound he'd learned to fear.

The sound of death.

Her strawberry blond hair was damp and spread around her and her normally tan face (she liked to go to the beach a lot) was ashen, almost completely white. Her hands rested limply along her sides. If her chest didn't rise and fall steadily, he would have thought her dead. Sensing him drawing near, her eyes fluttered open. The hand on his side twitched and she moved her fingers in a feeble greeting.

His eyes went up and down her form, his mouth opening and closing. Unable to speak, he found a chair and pulled it under him. Michelle reached for his hand and he took it.

After a beat, Michelle spoke. Her voice was soft, quiet. "The water tower collapsed. Guess I was lucky." She drew on her oxygen. "My doctor said I'm bleeding internally. I don't think there's anything they can do for me. . . . They couldn't do anything for Ned." Sadly she added, "Poor Ned."

_Ned. Oh God…._ Dib absorbed the horror and he shook his head in quiet denial. "No." When he looked up again, he saw that her eyes had tears in them. "Michelle, I . . ."

Michelle squeezed his hand. "Forget it. It's okay, over and done with."

"I'm still sorry."

His ex-wife smiled although it was a weak smile. "Oh that's just like you. Apologizing when there's nothing to apologize for." But she said it affectionately, teasingly. "Thanks for coming."

The corner of Dib's mouth went up but he couldn't bring it to his face. "Don't die, Mic."

Michelle feigned a shrug. "I didn't choose it. God does it for me. If die, I die."

He sighed. It was another one of those things he and Michelle had always argued about during their marriage. Her faith in God while he refused to put his blind faith in something that could never be proven. _Just another one of those things that happens whenever I try to love something, _he thought. _How can I believe in a god when everything I care about gets destroyed before my eyes?_

"Michelle . . ."

"I know, I know." She rocked her head back and forth a bit. "I don't want to fight with you. I always hated fighting with you."

"Me too."

Michelle tightened her grip on his hand. "Please forgive me, Dib."

"For what?"

"Just forgive me, okay? I need to hear it."

Dib was getting scared. _She can't be saying this, she can't be thinking like this._ "I forgive you." Desperately he pressed on. "Michelle, no, don't. Please." He drew closer to her and put his head down on her chest. He felt her fingers touch the top of his hair, run through it. He lifted his head. Getting up he took her face in his hands and they kissed. To each other, they tasted the same and it was the sweetest, purest thing. Her hand reached up and brushed his cheek with her fingertips.

Then it came down.

***

Dib walked down the hall away from the ICU. Behind him, a doctor and a nurse presided over a bed. While the nurse pulled the sheet over a woman's face, the doctor spoke.

"Put time of death at 2:34 AM . . ."

***

He made it outside. Unlike a few hours ago, the hell that had swept over Groom Lake had left as suddenly as it had come. But for one man, the hell was still here. The hell would always be here.

He kept going. Across the runway. Off the runway. He reached a field of grass and kept walking. Gradually he made his feet stop. Gradually he turned his head to the heavens.

After a minute or two he spread his arms out in a _here I am_ kind of way.

"Hey! Zim! I know you can see me!" he shouted. "You getting some kind of kick out of this?!" He gestured to the distant fires. "HUH?! Well, you know what? Fuck you! You hear me? FUCK YOU!" By the time he reached the end of it, he was sobbing. "Son of a bitch," he cried more quietly. "I'm going to blow my brains out. I swear to God I'm gonna fucking kill myself."

Instead though he just stood there. He shook unsteadily. Looking at the sky again, eyes dark and unclear, he said in a voice wrought with infinite grief. "You better come get me yourself. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be around for you to fuck with anymore."

He left the field.

***


	5. Lull Before the Storm

***

_"It's all right to make mistakes you're only human." – Dido "Slide"_

_***_

Invader Nia stared out the porthole window, gazing down at the planet spinning beneath her. After many years of its vast presence filling her everyday, she passed off its inherent beauty with the same sort of aimless dismissal as one did a large rock. For all she cared, the Earth could have been spewing lava from countless volcanoes and it still produced the same emotional effect. Or rather the lack of one. Her mind registered its awesome vitality, held it for what it was in her knowledge and noted it as casually as ever. Earth/job to do/incredible bane of her existence. Often she wondered why she allowed herself to get saddled with such bad deals in life and time again taught her it had never been her choice to make. This was the Irken Empire. You were what you were told to be and you went where you were told to go. No questions asked. The way it was.

_But thanks to those stink-beasts down there, their individualist propaganda turned civilized Irkens into freethinking morons,_ she thought. What good was exercising an identity if birth already dictated what you were? It made no sense.

Being stuck here in a steel can of tunnels with a questionably sane ringleader of the invasion made even less sense.

"This was never in my job description," she mumbled turning her gaze from the teal magnificence shining in her green eyes. Grumbling unintelligibly she made her way through the vessel. Damn she was bored. It seemed everyone here had a job to do, even if it was using spit and wax to clean off the Voot Cruiser. She despised that hunk of outdated scrap metal. Why Zim bothered keeping the ancient artifact for active use wasn't the best idea. Just looking at it made her fight back gales of laughter.

Passing by Zim's personal chamber, she made a mildly surprising discovery. The door was open. Peeking in she let her eyes rove over the inside. No one home. Best guess was Zim was off being "busy." Yelling at people, having a snack, taking a walk or inspecting every room in his hypochondriac manner for anything that was out of place. The usual freaky 101.

Nia checked both corridors and then stepped into the room. Placing each foot carefully before the other as not to make a sound, she approached the semi-circle of computer monitors. One big monitor sat in the middle, reserved for calling the Tallest likely, she figured. 

Roving over all the buttons and switches, Nia wondered why she was in here. It wasn't like Zim possessed anything of special value and she desired nothing of his. Except perhaps for one secret. She had to admit though she cared little for the earth resident, after encountering him and then bearing witness to Zim's oddly emotional refusal to divulge his obsession's secret, it nagged at her. Intrigued her even.

But how would staring at a bunch of computer monitors tell her that? Zim wasn't the kind to record his FEELINGS via log entries. If he did he wouldn't let it be ready for public access either. Though Nia was a reasonably good computer technician, she lacked the drive to hack into the network – at least not without a real need to.

She doubted he HAD feelings anyway.

Oh well. She gave a mental shrug and stared at the monitors. For the moment, the satellite cameras were trained on the smoldering cinders of the aptly named Area 51 or its better known (and more mind boggling) moniker 'Groom Lake.' _Why call it a lake?_ She thought scanning the screens. _I see no water._

By the Tallest, the armada had done a number on it. It was the worst amount of destruction she'd seen on ANY planet. On the other hand, it came as no real shock. If there was one thing that lousy Zim was any good at, it was destroying things. 

"His only saving grace," she muttered walking slowly by each monitor, making pause to regard each one. For each location on the base, for each fire there was a different scene. Humans here and there, walking around, standing in groups, Irken rebels doing much of the same. Mostly dull scenes of things being cleaned up and fires being put out. Boring. Nia made ready to leave when something caught the corner of her eye. One of the screens.

She squinted. There was a figure on the last screen moving across a field. Coming closer she touched a switch and had the camera zoom in. Her eyes went wide. "It's the Dib-human," she whispered. Spurred on by instinct she set the camera to track him. Eventually the human stopped. Stood there. If his body posture was anything to go by, the man was in complete defeat. Shoulders down, head low, eyes to the ground. It was quite a contrast to the defiant creature she'd last seen.

He suddenly turned his head skyward. Even though it was impossible for him to see the camera, his gaze into it was dead on. "Oh shit," she whispered thinking for one crazy minute he actually could see HER. Sense snapped back and she shook her head.

The human spread his arms in a presenting manner. "Hey! Zim!" he shouted. "I know you can see me! You getting some kind of kick out of this?!" He gestured to the distant fires. "HUH?! Well, you know what? Fuck you! You hear me? FUCK YOU!" By the time he reached the end of it, he was sobbing. "Son of a bitch," he cried more quietly. "I'm going to blow my brains out. I swear to God I'm gonna fucking kill myself."

Nia drew closer to his image. There were tears on his face and his eyes…. They scared her. Nothing scared her and yet the darkness in him rivaled the surrounding night. His head dropped down and then he brought it up again. Involuntarily she brought her hand up to the screen and touched it.

"You better come get me yourself." He spoke slowly, sadly. "I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be around for you to fuck with anymore." She heard his voice catch on the last three words. Then he left the field, each step as if he thought to take his last.

Nia realized what she was doing and where her hand was. Taking it off, she spat in disgust. Not at him but for him actually thinking screaming at the sky to a highly dubious source of sympathy would solve anything on his part. Showing that kind of weakness to Zim – not a smart move.

She grinned. "This is perfect." 

Nia plunged deep into thought. There were so many weaknesses humans possessed. She of course knew and exploited many of them, especially the fear-based kind. But there had been a line many Irkens dared not cross when it came to dealing with humans. No Irken except for Zim had broken the unspoken taboo when it came to humans. She hadn't seen what he had done to that Gaz human but she'd heard it. Even all these years later, she remembered it clearly.

She'd been walking by when she'd heard sounds coming from behind a door to a room where prisoners were normally brought for interrogation or torture. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she had come close and listened.

"….stop, please…." There was a whimper of what sounded like pain. "Why are you doing this?" A scream exploded and Nia jerked back in fear. When it died way, she heard someone answer – and she was surprised to hear Zim's voice. He almost never interrogated humans. She drew close again.

"It's nothing personal. I was saving this for your brother but you will do until I capture him."

There was a sound of a strangled gasp.

"It hurts worse if you fight it, Gaz."

"Please let me go . . . "

"I will. Eventually."

There was the sound of the human gasping and moaning. "You're a bastard." It sounded like a sob.

"Names don't bother me, stink-beast." Zim's voice was coming close to the door. Realizing he was going to open it, Nia hurried and hid behind a large food cart. Zim came out and closed the door behind him. Peeking, Nia watched him. He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "That wasn't much fun," he muttered. "She only screamed once."  

A voice interrupted her introspection. 

"What are you doing?"

Nia gave a guilty start but by the time she turned to face him, her face was passive and her posture ramrod straight. For good measure she twitched her antenna in a half-hearted manner. It was futile to show appeasement when she knew full well he would see it for the lie that it was. However on the issues of protocol, it didn't hurt.

"Looking at the monitors."

Zim closed the door behind him. For a second he leaned his back against it, bracing it with his claws. He narrowed his eyes and came toward her, his intense suspicion a full body occupant. "I don't believe you."

Nia showed her palms. He actually took one of her wrists and made her stand still while he checked her uniform's pockets. He appeared to relax when he didn't find anything. He let her go.

"Regardless of what your motivations are, I'm glad you are here," Zim began after a second of mutual hostile silence. "I have a job for you."

Nia eyed him. "Is this the same job?"

"Sort of." Zim went to his chair and climbed on it, although he had some difficulty doing so. Nia hid a smile. Settling down, he folded his fingers together under his chin. "However we're going to go about it a little more . . . intelligently." He paused for thought. "I have been doing some thinking."

_Oh no, he's not going to confide in me is he?_

He took his time, debating his choice of words. "I have realized the reason for my failure at capturing the Dib-human is all previous attempts have been too . . I dunno . . . obvious.

I did not allow for unforeseen obstacles."

_In other words,_ Nia thought, _you're admitting I'm right._

"Since it seems," he continued, "that you have a better understanding of how he seems to work than I do." Pause. "That's weird." He went on. "I'm going to allow you to use your own judgement on this one."

Nia found it hard to keep from grinning. Finally. FINALLY. Zim had a brain after all.

"Employ whatever method you feel is necessary. Be sure to bring him in alive - I don't care if he's within an inch of meeting his human maker - I just want a pulse." Zim's claws dug into his chair. His eyes had blackness to their crimson depths. If Nia didn't know he could be nonchalant on a whim, it would have frightened her.

Nia ventured a question. "Why the sudden change, sir?"

The male Irken spoke in a low tone. "That earth-monkey has been beating me at my own game for far too long. He fails to amuse me with his clever stupidity. It's all one to me who he is now - I only know he's Dib. That's all I need to know." He looked Nia in the eye. "Can I trust you won't screw this up again?"

"Yes sir."

"Because don't bother coming back if you fail." Zim leaned in to her. "I would hate to have to destroy you. I don't like you enough to destroy you."

_Why not?_ Nia wanted to challenge. But she didn't want to mess up this absolute freedom he was giving her. If he only knew how easy it was going to be . . . if he had seen what she saw.

Plus she had a plan. An amazing plan. It would take a lot of time to put together and a lot of patience but if all went well, it would be worth it.

Zim sat back in his seat and flopped a hand casually. "Eh, that's all. Run along….good luck….all that stuff. Oh and again remember don't come back if you fail."

Nia saluted and left the chamber, allowing for the wide grin she'd kept inside to stretch across her face. Zim would rue the day he appointed her. Rue it like he'd never rued before.

***

POP!

The can popped off, struck a lower branch and then clattered to the ground.

Dib slightly shifted his aim. He squeezed the trigger.

POP! The other can went skyward.

"Goes the weasel," he muttered, grinning. Checking his ammo, Dib crossed the thicket to retrieve the cans.

Four weeks after Groom Lake met its untimely end - with the hundred or so lives with it - Dib found himself on the run again. This time he made absolutely certain NO ONE would be able to find him. He made sure his next hiding spot was remote - away from other humans and Irkens. Picking an old abandoned military bunker in the Appalachian Mountain range out on the East coast (that's how far away from Groom Lake he was determined to get even though he had only a helicopter to bring him there) it took a while for Dib to adjust. Living around trees and cooler temperatures was quite a change from the sand and hotter than hell conditions. Here he was lucky if a patch of sunlight made it though the canopy.

He was also lucky the Irkens hadn't discovered this place.

Dib would have gone alone. In fact if he had really made one hell of an insistence on it, he might have gotten his wish. But Dib hated being alone - hated it. So when Gaz put her foot down against his protests she better served the cause being with the resistance (and their dad), he let her come with him. Besides it was for the better. Dib was insanely protective of her - and his own father's begging Gaz to go with him only added to it. It would have been just them but someone else heard about Dib running off and tossed his lot into the exile too. Someone he hadn't expected.

As Dib bent down to retrieve the old empty cans once containing low-fat beef stew, from upside down and between his legs he spotted an Irken in a purple uniform. Without moving, Dib waved. "Hi Spunk."

Spunk tilted his head to the side and eyed the human. "Very graceful."

Dib straightened up, blinking hard. _Whoa. Head rush_. He turned around and held up a can that had a dead center hole through it. "Bulls eye."

Spunk rolled his eyes and gave him a less-than-enthused applause. "You never quit it, do you?"

Dib shrugged. "Hey, what else am I supposed to do around here?" He threw the can down again. "This place is dead."

"Dead?" Spunk was scandalized. He pointed at the trees. "Are THOSE dead?" He pointed to a flower. "Is THAT dead?" He finished by pointing to a chipmunk. "Is that furry whatever-it-is-thing dead?" Spunk's eyes shone and he spread his arms to the canopy. "This place…..!" Sigh. "You humans will never learn to appreciate the beauty of your own planet. If your history has anything to say for itself, it's a rather bitter indictment."

"What about Irk?" Dib challenged not unkindly. "Instead of cleaning up the mess you made, you just left it there to rot." Dib perched on the log the cans had sat on. Spunk came and joined him. "Hate to say this Spunk but I think we humans have a one-up on you Irkens. At least on the whole staying-on-your-own-planet-and-dealing-with-it thing."

Invader Spunk shrugged and swung his legs back and forth. Dib smiled. Irkens were like children. They could be explaining a dead serious military strategy while twirling a pen around and even chewing on it. At least, that's what Spunk did.

"So…. what's my sister up to?"

"Hunting."

"Hunting?"

"You know." Spunk mimed aiming a rifle. "Boom! She said she wanted to bag a 'rabbit.'" He looked at Dib. "What's a rabbit?"

"Small furry creature. Big buck teeth, long ears, short fluffy tail and long legs. Fast suckers."

"Oh!" Spunk brightened. "Okay, I think I've seen one before. They're like mice and rats right?"

"No. They have similar features but they don't belong to the same species/class/order thing." Dib couldn't believe they were talking about this. "Anyway. How long ago she did she leave?"

"Approximately fifteen minutes." A distant gunshot echoed through the forest. It was probably no further away than sixty to seventy yards. "I believe that's her."

Dib was worried. "I hope so."

Spunk waved it off. "It was her. The Empire would not resort to using such primitive weapons. Such as it is, you're the one they're after."

It was the human's turn to roll his eyes. "Geez, no shit." He got to his feet. "Hey Spunk, I got a question for you."

Spunk jumped down. "Shoot."

Dib slipped his gun back into its holster attached to his belt. "Why'd you come with us? I've been knocking it about in my head since we've been here and I haven't been able to come up with a guess."

Spunk shrugged. "I dunno."

"Oh come on. No one just up and runs with the Universe's Most Wanted life form without a good reason!"

Spunk tilted his head and stuck his tongue out between his sharp teeth. "We-ell, hmm. You saved my life, you were the best co-pilot I've ever had and well, you're easier to talk to than most humans." 

Dib shook his head. "Ah, I was just doing my job."

Spunk impaled him with a Look. "There's a fine line between the things you do for a job and the things you do because it's in your nature." 

"Really?" Dib's eyebrows jumped. "That's pretty insightful, Spunk."

The Irken feigned modestly. "Oh it's not. I just read a lot of human literature." He smiled. "No, I mean this in the most truthful sense, Dib. Saying you're only doing your job is an excuse. Admit it, sometimes you think some of us Irkens are all right."

Dib cracked a smile. "You got that right." It was so hard to smile these days anymore – Michelle's death had just made it even harder. This one came as close as it ever did to being genuine. "I can see why you deserted the Empire, Spunk. You don't think like Zim."

Spunk clenched his teeth. "Because I'm NOT freakin' Zim. Oh sure, I LOOK a lot like him but trust me, we couldn't be more different." Spunk and Dib started to make their way back to the bunker. "I know it sounds ignorant to say this but I wouldn't want to be you for all the world."

"That's all right. I don't want to be _me_ for all the world either," Dib quipped. It sent them both laughing.

They came to a split path. Spunk patted Dib on the leg. "I'm heading back inside. I want to keep an eye on that monitor. Go see if your sister's coming back this way, we don't want her wandering _too_ far."

Dib winked. "Yes Mom."

Spunk just made a face and went running back uphill toward the tiny old structure built right into the side of the hill. Dib watched him ascend, slipping his hands into his pockets. So many things were changing all the time. Never in a million years would he have imagined he'd be right where he was now. Not on the run . . . Hehe, that seemed right from birth a given in his crazy reality. Despite his conviction four long weeks ago he had reached to such a point of no return, he would have thought death was the only way out. _Yet now here . . . _

"I don't know," he continued aloud. "This feels right . . . and wrong at the same time." He sighed. "It doesn't matter. If I'm happy maybe….it's not so wrong. Is it?" Dib glanced up through the sunlight glowing through the leaves. "I sure could use an answer." 

Dib walked on through the forest, preoccupied with his thoughts. He didn't see the dark shadow moving in the trees above him. He didn't see spider legs lower its owner to the ground. He didn't see the weapon in its hand.

But he did hear a twig snap behind him.

***

A/N: What Zim did to Gaz is _not_ what you think although you might think that from how it's written. It's meant to be misleading.


	6. The Storm Breaks

__

***

"Must be strangely exciting

To watch the stoic squirm." - Alanis Morissette "Uninvited"

***

"Don't move."

Dib froze. Almost immediately he felt a blunt object press against the back of his head. His hand automatically went to his gun.

"You draw that weapon you'll be dead before you hit the ground."

The voice was female, smooth, fiery and somewhat dulcet although it was obviously an effort on its owner's part to keep it low and menacing. Dib clamped on his bottom lip when he felt her hand reach around his waist and slip under the open trench coat. Grasping the gun, she relieved him of it. He shut his eyes for a second, mouthing, "Shit!" 

"All right," the voice continued, sounding calmer. "Turn around. Wait - !" He stopped. "Raise your hands in the air - and then turn around slowly."

Doing what he was told, Dib faced her. His mouth almost dropped open. Instead he half-closed his eyes in recognition. "Invader Nia."

They were eye to eye, thanks to the new metal spider legs holding her tiny former aloft. She smiled.

"Oh fuck me," Dib whispered, still not over his shock.

She just grinned wider. "I'd love to." At his reaction, she chuckled. Dib smoldered. "I have to tell you," she began keeping her laser trained on him, making sure he knew full well of her intention to use it if he tried anything. "You're not an easy human to find."

"Well, that was _kind_ of the idea." He might be scared to death but his old defense mechanism, gallows humor, still worked.

Nia circled around him, motioning he do the same. Side stepping, he watched her finish lowering the last two back legs from the trees. "I've been tracking you for several weeks now. When I finally managed to locate you, it was all a matter of getting you alone. I've been watching you for a long time. You, your sister and that traitor." A sly tone crept into her voice. "Of course all that has been taken care of."

"Taken….care of?" Dib said weakly. Anger flared in him suddenly at her nasty implication. "IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO MY SISTER . . .!"

"You'll what?" Nia showed him his handgun pinched by the butt between two fingers. "You seem to have forgotten who has the upper hand here."

Frustrated and stuck for a retort, Dib forced himself to remain calm. "What did you do to them."

"Your sister is all right. Merely unaware of the situation. I have no use for her. Of course," Nia pretended sympathy. "I had to, by Empire law, carry out my civic duty toward traitors. You can sympathize of course." Dib's face began to change to shock as she went on. "All's fair in love and war, hmm?"

"He's . . . Spunk is . . ." Dib shook his head. "Impossible. I just saw him a second ago."

"That's all it takes, Dib." Nia winked at him. "Don't worry it was nice and quick. Though," she shrugged, "I can't make any promises on how your sister will react when she finds him." 

Dib was finding it more and more difficult to control the vehemence coursing through him. _Jesus Christ, what have I done? I took sympathy on a freakin' monster . . . saved a goddamn demon. Spunk is dead because I let her live. Should have pulled the trigger when I had the chance. _His eyes dilated and he suddenly had trouble breathing. "You bitch." It was weak, tinged with a sob. He stalked toward her, ignoring the weapon she held.

She took a step back, the light of excitement glowing in her pupils. Yes. It was going according to plan. Playing right into it like a good little human. She kept the gun trained on him. "Oh Dib, you're such a stupid beast. Here I have your gun thing and my laser pointed right at your large head and you're blind to either. Don't you realize the odds were NEVER in your favor?"

"Shut up."

Oh this was too easy. _Please tell me they aren't THIS easy to manipulate_. Nia continued backing up although she was picking a particular direction. He didn't know she had studied this area so intimately she knew exactly where she was backing to.

"It was bound to happen someday," she kept going delighting in his internal agony, at wanting to give in to his hatred and at the same time self-preservation kept him from doing it. "If it wasn't me it would have been Zim."

"I'D RATHER IT HAVE BEEN ZIM!" he raged. "I WANTED it to be him . . . oh God if you knew -!" Dib growled and stopped stalking, clawing internally. "If you only knew . . ."

"Try me." She smiled again. "I know more than you think, Dib-human. So much more."

Almost there.

Dib eyed her for that cryptic comment and kept following her; his mind was clearing and he was finally beginning to suspect something. Her movements were too deliberate, too placed. Too planned.

"We're going somewhere. You're leading me."

Her smile froze for a second. Just a second enough for him to see it. 

He gave her a Look. "You think I'm stupid?"

"No." Recovered, Nia shook her head. "Yes, I'm leading you."

"Where? To your ship?" Dib made a complete chop gesture with both hands. "Forget it! I'm not going to give up my freedom now after trying like hell to keep it all these years!"

His face darkened. "If Zim wants me, Zim has to come get me. No sending his flunkies to do his dirty business for him. This isn't _Star Wars_ for Christ's sake!"

Invader Nia frowned and for the first time she became a bit peeved. "Hey, do you think I _like_ doing shit for that excuse for an Irken? If I had it my way, you'd be dead. Unfortunately the dumbass wants you alive although he gave me certain liberties." Nia began to smile. "Besides," she said as they came to a large open area of wood that had a lot of boulders and other hunks of rock. Perching atop one of them, she looked down at him from her loft. "It's going to be more fun this way."

Then she tossed his gun to him.

Dib immediately reacted and caught it. Completely perplexed he peered at her closely. "What's going on?"

Nia cocked her own weapon for an answer. "I'm giving you a head start. If you value your comrades' lives, you won't run to them." She gestured with her laser. "Go."

"Go?" Dib flared. "I'm NOT a coward!" He brought up the gun and pulled the hammer back. His voice shook. "I-I'm not going to take pity on you this time."

__

He won't do it. He's shaking. How strange - for someone who has taken so many Irken lives he finds it difficult taking mine. Never thought I was so special. Mockingly she opened her arms. "Want me to paint a little target on my torso for you?"

Ah. Yes. There. That hate. In another moment he'd be mindless. 

"You're not saying anything to me!" _Liar._

"Am I?"

"Shut up!" Dib started to back away. He held his gun up in a position for nonuse. Negotiating his way around a boulder he spoke through his teeth. "You can't fuck with my head!"

"What makes you think I'm doing anything?" Nia replied at length. "Look at me. I'm just talking to you."

Dib made sure there was a place for him to duck. Then he fired. Not at her but in her general direction. Swiftly he ducked behind the rock and crawled on his hands and knees to hide behind another one. Keeping his breathing even and slow, Dib pushed his back up against the granite, muzzle pointed skyward. Counting under his breath, he peeked over top. Fortunately he didn't need to get his whole head up thanks to the hair spike. He saw the green beam careen over his head. Cursing he ducked again and pulled back the hammer again. "I'm trapped."

Checking again, he spotted her before she saw him. It gave him a chance to fire although she did her weird liquid like motion of ducking out of harm's way.

"How does she do that?" he wondered going back down again. Running low, he made it halfway across the open area before a rain of fire caused him to surrender his escape path temporarily. Diving behind another rock, he realized why she had led him here. This place was perfect for a gunfight. Here only stupidity got you killed - and the odds were evened out. Everything was in both of their favors. _It was a game,_ he mused. _This is the board and we're both the players. The weapons are our checker pieces. May the best toy win._

Then it hit him. He could very well die today. Invader Nia didn't strike him as a particularly loyal creature, either to Zim or the Empire. More a renegade out for Number One. This was going to be tough_. I'm smart, I can survive this. I'm Dib. Protector of Earth. This is what I'm doing and that's who I am. I also hope I'm not bullshitting myself about it._

"This alien isn't smarter than me," he muttered. "But man, if she isn't making it hard!"

He peeked again, spotted her and fired. His aim was dead on, in the respects it terminated the use of two of the spider legs. She stumbled to the ground with a yelp, struggling for balance before heaving herself up again. Good. Now she had only two left to hobble around on. If he could disable those in time, he might just win this. _Okay, got a plan. Not much of one but it's better than ducking and rolling._

"Ready to give up?" He heard her call. "Eventually you're going to run out of bullets."

__

Don't answer. She wins every time you answer.

Dib rose up again and prepared to fire. Nia was ready for him this time and fired first.

He felt a white-hot sensation pierce his shoulder. The force blew him off his feet and he skidded across the dead leaves until he fell. Suddenly he was at a strange angle, staring up through the treetops that framed around his vision. Numbness spread throughout his entire body. Still it didn't keep him from groping around for his gun, while turning over on his knees to do so.

A foot stepped on his hand. He gave a cry and pulled it away. The owner of the foot hooked him under the stomach and pushed him back flat on his back. Pressure on his chest increased dramatically and suddenly he was looking into a pair of deadly beautiful green eyes. The little Irken female was standing on his chest, fists on her hips. A sinister grin stretched across her face as she leaned down to his. 

"Isn't it strange how the little guy always comes out on top?" She chortled at her bad joke. Narrowing her eyes down at him she spoke. "You played into my hands, Dib. Practically walked right into them. Just a word here and word there and you sold yourself completely." She actually looked a little disappointed. "You haven't been lucky because you're smart, Dib, you're lucky because you learned to shut yourself off." She knelt down and touched his upper lip with her index finger like she'd seen human female villains do to male heroes in motion pictures. "When did that change, hmm? Did it start with me?" Closer she whispered, "Why was I special?"

Dib was absolutely terrified, too much so to be of any intelligent conversation. He was losing blood; her standing on his ribcage made drawing air next to impossible and the only thing on his mind was Gaz. He wanted to know if she was all right, he wanted her to appear and save him like she'd always done for him in the past.

When he didn't answer, Nia quit the act. Annoyed she hopped down to the ground. "Well, I'm glad it's over with. I'm tired and if I don't come back with you alive, he's gonna start yelling again." She bent back and stretched. Exhaling she turned back to Dib who watched her intently.

She took out a handheld device. "By the way, I lied about killing Spunk."

Then she touched it to his head and plunged him into darkness. 

***

"Hey Spunk."

"Hello Gaz. Get a rabbit?"

"Nah, they're too damn fast. Where's Dib?"

"What are you talking about? Isn't he with you?"

"No. I thought he was with YOU."

"I told him to go look for you. You mean, you never saw him?"

"No . . . oh shit. C'mon."

"What?"

"Later. I just hope I'm wrong . . ."

***

__

Damn, I'm bored.

Zim paced around the space station, stopping every once in a while to gaze down at the earth. He grumbled something vile under his breath and kicked a passing SIR unit who was patrolling the halls. The poor thing sped up and ran a flurry of panic activity assaulting its internal switchboard. Meanwhile the alien made two fists and brought them down on the windowpane. Growling he dug his digits in and dragged them, leaving long deep indentations. They squeaked and squealed all the way down.

Things weren't going well. He had to admit it. The humans had fled into their hideouts like rats in a sewer system. Every recon sent out came back with nothing. He cursed the rebel Irkens and their careless treachery of the guarded secrets of the Irken elite. _How dare they take it upon themselves to dish out any kind of information they like! _He thought. _What did they think they were entitled to, the human Constitution?!_ The worst part was more and more were dissenting everyday, enticed by this "freedom" human culture seemed to represent to them. Whatever gave them that sordid idea beat the hell out of him.

It wasn't the worst of his problems. The Tallest were growing more impatient by the second. They finally gave him a set ultimatum: conquer earth within the next year or the invasion is officially scrapped. There were always other planets. Besides they already had themselves another planet in the wings and were ready to save their resources to go there instead. However having spent so much time on this one, they were willing enough to let Zim have one measly last shot at redemption. One shot and one shot only.

One year. One lousy, icky Earth year to conquer that whole huge blue thing with clouds. One year to prove himself a worthy invader. One year to be in complete control.

Or not, such as was the case.

"Why?" he muttered aloud. "How can this thing be such a miserable failure?! I am Zim and Zim is more than capable of conquering a planet all by himself." He halted. "No, wait, others are helping me. None of the others needed help. Huh." He dwelt on it briefly. Rising again he drew himself up. "Well, of _course_ I needed help! This planet had six billion stink-beasts! How easy would it have been for me to have conquered so many alone?" Zim's eyes went from side to side. "But if they're so stupid, how come I'm not - we're not - winning? How come? Huh?" Frustration abound, he started kicking at the wall, sometimes banging his head against it. "None of this makes any sense! WHY AM I FAILING? WHY?!?!" Gradually he stopped and drew back to reason. "But no, I'm not going to lose my temper over this. I am a superior being and I . . . . WHY MUST THIS BE?!" 

"Um, Zim, sir?"

Zim quit ranting. Invader Nia - who always seemed to have an impeccable knack for timing - waited. Perfectly poised, her stern expression marred by the odd look she was giving him.

She spoke again. "Is there something amiss?"

"No, don't be silly." Zim brushed himself off with flourish. "Just a minor setback, nothing at all to worry about." It hit him suddenly. Invader Nia was here. Four weeks and nothing and now here she was . . . His Irken equivalent of a stomach did flip-flops. "If you're here then that must mean . . ." Rushing to her he grabbed her by the shoulders. Intently he looked right through her. "Did you . . . is he . . ."

Nia replied. "He's down in a holding cell on the lower sector."

Zim gave a whoop and let her go so roughly she stumbled back a little while he trumpeted. "Yes! Oh this is excellent simply astounding!" He pumped both fists in the air and had himself a happy little moment. "Victory for Zim!" Blithely he ignored the sourpuss and frankly bored expression she was giving him.

"Now that I have completed my use for you, sir," Nia began after getting tired of waiting for him to come out his happy strut. "May I request I be sent back to the Massive to continue my duties?"

Hearing that, Zim fought back a grumble of envy. Nia was one of the special service soldiers - the kind that were bred especially for solo missions where Me mentality and independent thought were stressed. They also protected the Tallest during invasions. In Zim's limited capacity, he understood and was often confused by some of what he attributed to be "human" qualities in her.

"Sir? I really would like to be getting back."

"Not yet," he told her. "I want to see Dib for myself." Suspecting something, he eyed her. "Why are you so eager to leave?" He felt something knaw at him. "You better not have killed him." He was surprised to hear the deadliness in his own voice. 

Nia, like usual, only appeared annoyed. "No, sir, I did not kill him. You told me not to."

Zim groaned. "I KNOW I said that! What do you think I am? An idiot?!" Infuriating, she was so infuriating! That stolid insolence didn't help Zim feel any better either. He decided to let her know it wasn't appreciated. _After all,_ he gave an inward laugh; _I'm in charge around here._

Totally blasé, Nia replied, as he knew she would. "No, sir, I think you're crazy." She finally realized he was coming toward her, pure fury in his eyes. Rather than panicking she let him come closer and closer. She even let him shove her against the door behind her. One hand on her chest, he used the other to hit the button beside it to open it.

She moved back as he continued to advance on her. 

He made sure she was inside and slapped the button a second time. The door shut, separating them.

What? This wasn't what she had expected.

"I'll see you later, Nia!" she heard him called gaily through the door. "Make yourself comfortable, you're gonna be in there for a long time!"

Then the next thing she heard was his footsteps fading into the distance.

***

__

I can't see anything . . . everything is so . . . blurry. But it hurts . . . I was shot . . . Green eyes . . . red blood, my blood . . . Am I dead? No. Can't be. Gaz, where are you? Help me, please, please help me. Where am I? I'm scared, I'm so scared . . . Please don't let them hurt me . . . please, please, please . . . going away . . . I'm going . . . away . . . I'm . . . 

He blacked out again.

***


	7. Helpless

__

***

"When I was a child

I caught a fleeting glimpse

Out of the corner of my eye.

I turned to look but it was gone

I cannot put my finger on it now.

The child is grown.

The dream is gone." - Pink Floyd "Comfortably Numb"

***

The first sensation he felt was cold. His cheek was pressed to the floor. When he opened his eyes, the world was dark. Shutting them again he rolled over, discovering in his efforts at movement his hands and feet were tied together. When he twisted his wrists around, he felt the rough texture of what he could only guess to be packing twine. Experimentally he tried to force his ankles apart but those were bound well. Rocking back and forth, trying to get into a sitting position, he knocked his injured shoulder. Pain jarred his entire fabric of being and he sucked in breath sharp and fast. Through clenched teeth he swore until the throbbing ebbed to a tolerable level.

Kicking upwards, Dib managed to sit up. Unfortunately his momentum carried him into pitching forward too far and he banged his forehead on the floor.

"Goddamn it!" he squeezed his eyes shut. Realizing something was missing even in the pitch-blackness, he muttered, "Where the hell are my glasses?" No sooner has these words left his lips, blinding light flooded the room, making him cry out and shut his eyes again simultaneously. Scooting back on the super smooth floor, Dib kept going until his back encountered a wall. Breathing hard he moved along it until he felt a corner and pressed himself into it. 

His heart stopped beating when he heard the silent swish of a door opening. Then foot steps. The closer they drew to him, the faster he began to breathe. Turning his head to the wall, he couldn't help the barely audible moan that emerged from his throat. Blinking rapidly, the white blur encapsulating, he felt someone kneel near him.

He felt a small hand slip under his chin and hold it firmly. Then his head was forced to turn. Dib jerked back. "Get the fuck away from me!" But his resistance only earned a rougher treatment. Two hands grabbed his ears and forced his head forward. One hand let go. It came back with something that touched his face. Dib gasped but then calmed. It was only his glasses. When they were on securely, the hand let go. 

His eyes having adjusted to the light with the addition of his much-needed glasses, he finally saw who was there with him.

The small green alien put both hands behind his back, smirked and leaned forward into the human's face. "Hello."

Dib didn't answer. He just shook his head, denying what his eyes registered before him.

Zim came closer to his enemy, seeing the dried blood on Dib's shoulder. He was surprised that when he touched the human, he froze. No lashing, no demands to be left be. Just a frightened stillness.

But he flinched when Zim tugged his coat off his injured shoulder. He stopped and stepped back. "Amazing," he murmured. "Are you afraid of me?"

Dib opened his mouth and closed it. He only shook his head and lowered it so the alien couldn't see his face. But the alien already had his 411. The human was bound and injured . . . of course he was afraid. So much the better. Strangely though, Zim felt a kind of pity for Dib. Not an honest pity but a rather 'my god you're pathetic I can't believe this is YOU' pity. He expected far more from his rival - so much more.

"Speak!" Zim growled after a beat. He grabbed Dib's collar, hard though with his short height. Even sitting, Dib was a full head above Zim so the alien had to pull down. "You _will_ speak to me, earth-stink."

"Go to hell."

Zim smiled again and let him go. That was more like it. "It's been a long time, Dib-worm. I can scarcely count how long it has been since we've faced each other in person. While I've found life without you bothering me constantly refreshing, it's quite amazing how busy you've kept me for the last five years." The alien paced about as he talked. Stopping he pointed at Dib. "Ha! Looks as if the tables have turned, Dib. _I_ have captured _you_. Can you appreciate the irony?"

No answer.

"You've been defeated. With you out of the way, my conquest can proceed as planned!" His antenna twitched in excitement. He marched up to Dib and grabbed his collar again, pulling his face close. Through clenched teeth he said, "Earth is MINE now." Nothing. "You have LOST." Still nothing. Letting the human go again with a shove, Zim screamed in frustration and grabbed the sides of his head. He quieted down after a minute and sank to his knees.

Pause.

Finally, Dib spoke. It was soft and tired. "What do you want me to say?" He lifted his head, his eyes full of pure poison. "WHAT in the whole goddamn universe would you like me to say? HUH? WHAT?!"

Zim made fists, cradling everything he felt into them. He radiated more fury in that than Dib had ever seen in another Irken. "You _know_ what I expect you to say."

But the human slowly shook his head. "Zim, you're a relic."

"Huh?" The alien was confused. 

Ignoring the alien, Dib exhaled. "Do what you want. I don't….care anymore." When he opened his eyes again, there was a glaze over both of them. "I'm tired of fighting you, Zim. So goddamn tired." He pressed his forehead against the wall and sobbed quietly.

Zim watched as the man became wracked with sobs. He watched him curl up into a ball in the corner. Just watched as Dib surrendered to everything. He stared at the human with eyes wide, unblinking. Eventually his hands curled. Eventually anger filled the alien's face. It was the worst anger Zim had ever felt in his life. Trembling with a rage bigger than his tiny body could house, Zim reached into his pak and pulled out a device. It was palm sized, oval, silvery and smooth. Stalking to Dib, he grabbed the human's throat. Dib's lack of resistance only further added to Zim's inner fire. Holding it out before Dib's eyes, he felt a twinge of satisfaction as they widened.

"You recognize it."

Dib nodded. "That's the thing Gaz told me you used on her." Realizing Zim's intentions he cried. "Oh no, don't." He twisted out of Zim's grip and tried to scoot along the wall. Zim followed him. He felt joy at seeing the fear singing in Dib's eyes. It was an almost orgasmic feeling. 

"You have no idea," Zim began with the faintest tremor of unbridled delight, "how long I have been waiting, Dib. How with each day that has passed this moment I have dreamed of."

__

This is not happening. This is not happening to me. The human unsuccessfully tried to kick him but all the alien did was simply avoid it. Dib started yelling, "No, don't . . !" when Zim grabbed his hair and bent his head back. He tried to pull away in vain.

"NO!" 

He pushed the thing against the human's forehead until it stuck. Then he released him.

Dib clamped on his bottom lip and sat forward on his knees. Sweat ran down his face and he shut his eyes so tightly he saw sparkles. Jesus Christ, the pain was fucking unbelievable. It made his shoulder fade in comparison - in fact he didn't even feel the pain there it was so overwhelming. Letting out his breath, he took turns panting and holding his breath. He didn't make any other sound. Every nerve alive commanded him to scream, to give the pain an outlet. _No. No. I can't give him that, I WON'T. I won't, I won't, I won't!_

He stole a hazy glance at Zim who watched him. His red eyes bore into the back of the man's skull. "You deserve it," he spoke when Dib looked at him. While he spoke, he sensed the alien was holding back something. "You deserve to feel everything that thing is making you feel."

"Why?" Dib managed to blurt out between gasps. 

Apparently the wrong answer. Zim lost it. "You just do! I don't have to explain myself to you! You're just a stupid human! THAT IS ALL YOU ARE!"

"If that's all I am," Dib couldn't believe he was able to speak through this. "Why was . . . Why was I running all those years? Wh-What's with the obsession w-with c-capturing me? I think, I-I think. . . . I deserve to know."

Zim struggled and finally grumbled, "You wouldn't get it."

"Get it? _What_ wouldn't I understand?" Dib stopped to suck in air through his nose. "I _know_ what an obsession is, Zim. I-I embody it. . . I . . . am . . ." The pain was taking control. Dib toppled to his side and screamed as loud as he could. 

__

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

He felt his heart was about explode and he was starting to hyperventilate from breathing so fast. If it kept up for too much longer, he was going to have nerve damage. That's why Gaz had to take medication after going through one of these torture spells. Not only had it induced a coma and one cardiac arrest, it had left her with the shakes for the rest of her life. And now it was happening to him.

__

Let me die. Just let me die, Zim. Let me go . . . 

Zim knelt over the whimpering human. He wasn't feeling any satisfaction from doing this. It disgruntled him. This was DIB. He should have felt far more than what he had felt watching the human's sister go through this. He didn't know what he was feeling and that was the worst of it all. 

"Zim," Dib whispered painfully, the words barely air. "Please …… tell me."

"I don't know," Zim answered simply.

"You ….. have to …… know." Dib squeezed his eyes shut again and moaned. "Please . . . Please . . . . Zim. Please . . ." He was starting to fade.

The alien found himself reaching to the device. Removing it, he placed it back in his pak.

Immediately after the thing was removed, Dib shuddered and all his muscles relaxed. A trickle of blood ran from the reopened wound and pooled beneath the human.

He was still.

Perplexed, Zim removed his glove and touched the human's face. He snatched his hand away as if burned. Slowly he stood and started to back away, shaking his head. Then he gave a loud yell. "NO!" Finally screaming in mortal agony, he fled the room.

The lights went out.

***

Invader Nia crept down the corridor, one hand on her weapon the other sliding against the side of the corridor. Every now and again she paused, antenna pricking for sound. She sometimes checked over her shoulder. Whenever she came to a corner she'd press herself against the wall and peek. Most of the doors in the space station auto-locked but she possessed enough technical know-how to tinker with the mechanism to get it open. It was how she had managed to escape in the first place.

Nia was a new mission. A self-appointed mission. There was no stopping it now. That miserable Zim was going to die. All there was to it. Besides no one would care. The Tallest would probably praise her – hadn't they tried several times to kill the bastard? Earth be conquered or no, the invasion was immaterial to Nia. All that mattered was the Empire's interests. She saw Zim as a violation to its interests and in the event those interests were jeopardized, she did whatever it took as a loyal soldier to ensure they were protected. While she was at it, she should kill that Dib-human too. She smiled. _I'll make Zim watch me kill him . . . it will be more rewarding this way. For me anyhow._

__

Too bad, she thought with some regret. _That human had been most fun to play with. Saved my life too, the clueless beast. His weak heart is his death. For such things he needs to be put out of his misery._ Nia paused and leaned, putting an arm over her forehead. _He would have been better off pulling the trigger and actually killed me, that bastard. I wouldn't have had to see his face on that monitor giving in to every weakness he possessed._

She growled. She wished she hadn't seen him. She wished she hadn't heard that defiant fiery creature give in to Zim's obsession as she had heard before as the human's scream echoed through the space station. Faintly she actually made out the words.

__

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Not if I do it first." Nia replied to the unspoken thought and kept going. Perhaps she would not kill the human, she thought. He seemed already well on his way to meet his maker as it was. Zim didn't know how much a human body could take - he didn't know his torture methods later killed humans or left them physically unwell for the rest of their lives. While that was good when it was said and done, the way Zim just flaunted these methods unnerved her. He took actual glee in it. Torture was necessary for getting information - not for enjoyment.

__

He needs to wake the hell up. I'll do that and then…..I will destroy him. It would be wonderful killing Zim. It would be retribution for every menial task he'd set upon her to do and every mistake he had ever made in the invasion.

When she reached the sector, she found the door to Dib's cell. She hit the button. Creeping slowly to the threshold, she peered inside. Her heart fell. "Dammit."

The human lay there in a fetal position (because of the way he was bound), apparently 

having perished under Zim's wrath with Zim himself nowhere to be seen. Putting her weapon away, she entered the holding cell and got down on one knee by the human's head. He looked terrible; his pale skin wet with perspiration and his chest rose and fell slowly and silently.

She didn't do anything else. Just sat there and looked at him for a long time. _A pity really_. Nia allowed herself to feel a twinge of sorrow. Before she moved to leave, she gave into indulgence. 

She reached into her pak and took something out of it. It was a knife. Cutting away Dib's bonds, she freed his hands and his feet. Then she slipped something under his limp hand. Standing up she hardened her expression and narrowed her eyes.

"We _will_ finish this fight, Dib," she told his unconscious form. "Don't disappoint me."

Drawing her own weapon, she held it up and left the cell, leaving the door open.

***

Zim burst into his personal chamber loudly and did so on his hands and knees. As the door closed behind him, he sank down until his head touched the floor. For a few moments he stayed like that. Motionless.

Gradually he climbed to his feet and staggered to his chair, barely caring or paying attention to how he got up there. Once settled in he dug his claws into the armrests and shut his eyes. He didn't know why he was feeling like this. He didn't know why seeing Dib like that frightened him the way it had. It was like . . . he was horrified at what he had done to him in a way he hadn't believed he could be. It took a bit for it to sink in as to why.

__

He hadn't fought me. Or insulted me. Or begged for his life or for others lives. Oh sure, he fought the pain that thing had inflicted into him. That was a given. But what really had made Zim do what he did to him was because he felt betrayed. It puzzled him because he didn't know what it was Dib had done. Maybe it was because Dib hadn't been doing what he was supposed to do, saying the things he was supposed to say. He didn't even . . . he didn't even show the _feelings_ he was supposed to show.

Zim sat up and rubbed his hands together and up and down his arms. He felt cold all of a sudden. He slid down from his seat and walked over to the monitors. Going over to one of them, he touched the screen and selected something. Accessing a file search, he told it to go back to a particular year on a particular day. Then he played the video with the sound off. As he watched the events unfold, he smiled a little. It wasn't an evil smile. It was nostalgic, almost happy. Towards the end, it fell from his face and he sighed. It just wasn't like that anymore. Truth of the fact of the matter it hadn't been like that all along. 

He watched this file to its conclusion and then closed it. He took a moment and shook his head slowly. In denial. In sadness.

Then a voice he dreaded came from behind him.

"Invader Zim. While I admit there's a nice ring to it, it was never truly a title you deserved." Nia stepped into the room and aimed her weapon at the helpless Irken. "Or ever will."

***

__


	8. Beyond the Stars

***

"Nothing stands between us here and I won't be denied." – Sarah McLachlan "Possession"

***

When he came to a splitting headache greeted him. He rolled over flat on his back, and threw an arm over his face when the bright lights of the ceiling stabbed his eyes. God, he hated the light. _I wish I had my gun I'd just aim it up like this and –_

BANG!

Dib shot up with a shocked jerk, his eyes wide. "What the hell?" He looked at his hand and just stared at it with his mouth open. His gun. He looked up at the ceiling. The light straight above his head sparked and bits of glass dropped down. A couple of seconds of comprehension gave him some more pieces of vital information. His hands and feet were free; the packing twine lay strewn around him. Frowning he carefully got to his feet, absently rubbing at the small red oval-shaped mark on his forehead. It was warmer than the rest of his skin, which was clammy and cold to begin with.

"Who . . .?" He murmured in confusion. None of this made sense in the damn least. Standing caused a rush of blood came to his head and he had to stand there for a second until the fuzziness and disorientation wore off. Brushing bits of glass from his clothes, Dib stretched. Oooo, man, he was going to be feeling _those_ aches for a long time, he could tell already. Working the kinks out from his neck, he turned about his space and made another discovery. The door to his cell. It was open.

_Okay. This goes for double in the it's-weird-and-it's-getting-weirder-by-the-minute department._

Dib cast his eyes briefly toward the ceiling. "However the hell you're moving around up there, I think I'll leave this one alone." Catching himself, he smiled. _Wow._ Shaking his head, Dib explored the open cell door. Poking his head out carefully he looked both ways. Clear. Ducking back inside, he checked his weapon. "Whoa." Bullets. In fact, it seemed someone had taken the second clip and actually loaded it in there. When he checked his pocket, it was missing and the clip was full.

Good. Strange but good.

He smacked the clip back into the gun and moved out of the cell and into the passageway. Hold on a sec. _Where am I going? I've never been here before. If I'm going to escape this place, I need to know what modes of transportation are available to me. _

Picking a direction at random and letting gut feeling dictate where his feet took him, Dib explored his new situation. His only guess so far was he had to be on some sort of Irken vessel. A very large one to boot. Everything in surrounding was of the best up-to-date quality. Dib claimed to be no expert on Irken technology although he knew enough to get by. He hazarded as much as he had guessed so far based on what he'd learned from Tak long ago. When interest and need moved her, (and when he bothered her enough) she showed him how an Irken spacecraft worked. Heh, he even got her to teach him how to fly them. On their first flight, Tak had gripped her armrests and made a big show of praying and swearing. Nothing bad happened of course - Dib was more than capable - she just loved giving him a hard time. 

God, I miss her. If only . . . 

No. Dib shut his eyes for a moment and shook off the memory. He couldn't think about things he couldn't change. However there were things he could changed – that HAD changed. Like himself. War. Killing aliens. Being a hero. Those things just weren't important to him anymore. Funny how once they were the only things he cared about excluding everything else to the contrary. Was it too late to discover what truly were the things he cared for? If when he returned would he find this revelation in heartbreak? Let's cross that bridge when we get to it. If there's a better cliché to support it, I'll think of it later.

_Where on God's earth am I?_

Oh. Wait. A porthole.

Dib went to it and knelt down to look (the corridors were tall enough for him to walk through without having to duck but such wasn't the case with the windows). His eyes bugged out.

Black space with white dots. Lots and lots of them. The half sphere shape of the world took up most of the available view space. He exhaled on the glass. It fogged beneath his nose briefly. His rapture quickly became replaced by anxiety as it dawned on him what this meant. 

God's earth he was not on.

_Don't. Panic. All problems seek solutions._ "Great." He got up and kept going. This was going to make things difficult. More than they already were though at this point he found it hard to believe.

Or was it? Doing a quick estimation in his head, Dib figured he'd been going at left turns and right angles for the past fifteen minutes. During this he hadn't run into Irkens or robots or ANYTHING. As far as he was concerned, the place was dead.

_No wait, what about Zim? He's around here some place._ _What about him?_

A distant shot interrupted his train of thought.

Automatically his trigger finger flexed. He started to rush forward. Wait. Hold it. Dib attuned his ears and listened for it again.

BAM!

Louder. It came from the next corridor, somewhere off to his right. Coming closer. Dib ducked behind the wall to the left, wrapping both hands around the gun, finger ready and steady on the trigger. Chancing it, he pressed himself flat against the surface and peered out and around.

_Someone's coming._

A shadow appeared, long and growing shorter as the owner came closer and closer.

He heard footsteps. Finally he saw him. Dib's face hardened and his eyes squinted. _Son of a bitch. Zim._

The Irken was running for his life. That much could be said for the fear on his face. His wide crimson eyes were terrified and unfocused. Sweat beaded his skin profusely, glistening slickly under the dim lighting. Every other stride was a limp because of an injury favored to his left foot. He paused to fire behind him and then kept going. A second later, Nia appeared after Zim. In contrast to her quarry's wild fear, her face and actions calm and calculated. There was no sweat. She was the hunter.

_Like with me,_ Dib thought, _only she wasn't trying to kill me. Here it looks like she means it._

I can't say I blame her.

Got to hide. They were closing in. Dib had no desire to pit against two enemies. He backed peddled fast and found a room to duck in. Peeking out, he made it in time to see Zim race by and Nia fire once, twice, three times. When they vanished, Dib came out again and crept after them. 

***

While Dib was stalking quietly and unknowingly behind the two aliens, Zim reached a vast room filled with more computers and monitors than his personal chamber. The main deck. Lots of places to hide.

Taking brief pause, he checked behind him. Seeing an Irken pistol nose-to-nose up close and personal, he involuntarily peddled rearward. The small of his back touched a  terminal workstation. Feeling that, his hands spread out over the controls behind him and he ran both claws along those as he moseyed his way around the room. Nia crept after him, her face somewhat cool, smug and deadpan. Slowly, methodically taking her time. The female Irken never did anything in a hurry. It's what made her invaluable as a soldier to the Empire - and for a brief time - to Zim. He silently cursed at not having seen her back stabbing inclination sooner or he would have destroyed her on the spot. Too late he had come to trust his inner admonition and now he was staring down the barrel of her gun.

_This is what happens when you like the thing your hand feeds - eventually it bites you._

When she fired, he dove behind a chair. The shot glanced off the top of the seat leaving a burnt, charred mark. Unfortunately doing that twisted his ankle again, sending an even sharper pain up his left calve than previously. Good God, it was incredible. Gritting his teeth, Zim crawled on his hands and knees behind the other control panels, carefully keeping them between him and the shooter. Lying practically on the floor, he could see her feet as she moved about the deck. Using them as a guide, he crawled away from wherever direction they moved.

They were getting closer.

_I don't want to do this but . . ._ Zim reached for his holster. Grasping his weapon, he handled it uncertainly. He hadn't used one in a while - albeit not having needed to touch a laser in several earth years.  Hopefully his mighty brain still remembered how to aim and react to being fired upon. If his ducking stunt was anything to go by, those instincts were still sharp. Sharp enough to keep him from being killed, he could only hazard.

_When I subdue her,_ he swore mutely. _I will destroy her. Utterly. I will annihilate her until there's NOTHING left but nothing. Incinerate her slowly so she can feel every searing burn. I will enjoy that. I will enjoy that a lot._

"Oh Zi-im," Nia called after him in a singsong manner. By the sound of it, she was looking for him. "Now let's play fair. You know I hate waiting. Be a good little smeet head and take your poison."

_Wait no more._ Zim stood up and fired. He missed, of course. In seeing the error he dove down again to avoid the retaliation. Covering his head with his arms, he yelled. "What do you want?! If it's home you want, you got it! Zim says you can go! Goooooo!" By the time he reached the end of it, he had his hands together in psuedo prayer and rather oddly he was on his knees too. When he opened his lids again, Nia was just stepping around the rather large computer monitor he was huddled behind. She grinned. "Peek-a-boo." Oh that look on his face she would cherish forever.

"Poor deluded Zim," Nia cooed with acid sweetness. "You think it's all about you? I'll be going home but not yet. First," she moved toward him slowly as he crab walked frantically away from her, "I'm going to let you in on a little news flash: I don't like you. Second, you're a horrible invader." She laughed when his eyes bugged out. "Oh c'mon, Zim, wake up and smell the Blorch rat! You suck at being anything useful to the Empire. All you do and everywhere you go, chaos follows!" Driven to anger, she came at him faster and faster until he ran out of crawling space. "Did you HONESTLY think the Tallest had _any_ confidence in you after what you did in Impending Doom I? Why did you think they sent you ME?" 

_Don't let her get to you. She can't be right. She CAN'T. _When he thought to lift his laser again she swiftly kicked it from his hand. Zim glared at her and sprouted spider legs and jumped to the ceiling. Producing suction devices for his hands, he crawled over the ceiling using the metal extensions as leverage. For every well-aimed blast Nia fired, he gave into reflex and avoided every one of them.

"You know," Zim told her after she ran out and waited impatiently for her weapon to charge again. "I _did_ trust you, Nia. I really thought out of everyone I had advising me, you had half a brain enough for the both of us. If I had known what a human-like bitch you were going to turn out to be, I would have killed you on the spot." Adding with dramatic sarcasm, "Annnnnd, I would have done it MYSELF!"

"Sure." Nia brought her gun up again. Big grin to go with it too. Zim tensed, eyes darting around. He couldn't keep dodging forever; he was running out of endurance and reaction time. If only he could get his . . . where was it . . . there! Near the door leading to cargo hold. Hmm, if he could get to his gun, go down that exit ramp and through to the hold, he'd have more space to defend himself. All cargo had been delivered the previous earth day so while lacking for cover he wouldn't be for maneuverability. _I still have a chance._

By the time Nia fired again, Zim released himself from the suction devices and retracted his legs. He landed in a crouch and executed a neat little roll toward the exit, picking the snub nosed ally up on the way. To his feet he jumped in a smooth motion and darted down the dark recess tunnel.

"Clever," Nia chuckled, stroking the top of her weapon almost affectionately. "My little green friend continues his fantasy."

"As I recall," came a familiar male and very human voice from behind her, "you're pretty green yourself."

Then she felt something hard push against the back of her skull.

"Drop that . . . whatever the hell that is."

Oh how the tables do turn. Nia made a small smile, opened her hand and dropped the weapon. "I knew you'd come sticking your nose around here sooner or later."

"Thanks to you."

"Who me?" she feigned innocence.

"Yeah you. Zim wouldn't be that kind to me." Dib appeared in front of her, his gun leveled down. He was a lot taller than she thought. She kind of had to crane her neck to look up at him. "Where is he?"

Hands still raised to the sky, Nia jerked her head to the exit. "He went that way." She narrowed her dark green eyes at him. "Look," she said in a low voice. "Let's cut this shit out. We're both intelligent beings here aren't we? We want the same thing: Zim dead. If you let me go after him, I can solve both our problems."

Dib didn't move and his face remained impassive. "Ideologically that sounds great, but I'm going to have to pass, sweetheart."

Nia blinked. She had not expected him to object.

Dib explained. "All I want is a way to get back to earth. You can do whatever you want but _I'm_ going home."

The female Irken stared at him incredulously. "So he can chase you for the rest of your short, pathetic life?" She waved her arms a little. "That idiot is fucking obsessed with you! He's sick! He NEEDS to die!"

_Zim's not the only one obsessed with something_. Dib allowed for an amused smile. "You don't think I know that?" He gestured in the general direction the alien had disappeared in. "I've known him since I was twelve. I know how he gets. I don't know WHY he gets like he gets but at this pointing giving a shit about it anymore is furthest from my mind." 

His gun was off her. Taking a chance, Nia swept up her weapon. Dib lifted his again.

Stalemate.

"I've got my own score to settle with you, Dib," Nia said through her teeth, backing toward the exit ramp. "You and me aren't done by halfway. After I kill Zim, I'm coming for you."

Then she disappeared.

Dib lowered his gun and punched himself in the head. Swearing under his breath, he made after her. All the while he gave his conscience grief. Why? Why couldn't he bring himself to shoot her? Maybe it was because of the way he'd taken pity on her, helpless and bleeding to death in that ravine. Certainly when he looked at her, he kept remembering that. Rebellious, smart and devious. A total bitch. She reminded him of . . . 

By the time it hit him he almost tripped as he sprinted to a stop. He moaned. "Oh fuck…."

_I can't identify with this I can't identify ANYTHING with this. Not if I want to get out of here alive._

He shook it off and forced himself to press on. Getting off this thing was going to be impossible unless he did something about Nia and Zim. While his dearest wish was to leave them both to die in their own bloody self-righteousness, he knew he couldn't run away from this one. It was time to stop running. Here were two monsters that were connected to him by weird and freakish circumstances. One who he sensed respected him as an adversary and possessed enough honor to fight fair. Who probably did so because of the compassion he had shown her but was too loyal to her own to be grateful for it and this was the only way she knew how to repay him in kind. The other he'd known as a child, who didn't fight fair, who maliciously hurt and broken him in every way possible. Who devoted every bit of energy into his own excess self-worth and interests at the cost of EVERYTHING and for which he deserved this fate he was now spiraling toward.

By the time Dib's thoughts had climbed its peak, he'd reached the cargo hold. Hiding just inside the entrance, he watched.

Zim and Nia were going at it. Neither actually possessed any real advantage over the other. They were equally matched physically, mentally and emotionally. The only problem was Zim was a bit slow because of his ankle and caught a couple of close calls.

Totally focused on killing each other, it filled their black souls so completely; the ardor ran with the sweat down their lime colored skins.

Zim rolled to avoid a shot and from his horizontal position, he returned the blessing with twice the passion.

In standing there, Dib realized he was in a unique situation. He was partially hidden and he had a clear field of range. They both could be taken out easily, like at a game at a carnival. Bang would go one, bang would go the other.

Now was THAT fair? Hell no.

Whoever said war was fair? All's fair in love and in war.

Nia cackled when Zim winced as his bad ankle twisted and caused him to stumble. The other alien frowned through glazed eyes of pain and cursed her. She only laughed again and danced out of another discharge.

_But . . . ._ Dib stared at Zim. _He hurt Gaz . . . he hurt me . . . And her . . . she shot me, she mocks me for being unable to . . . because she knows I can't . . . because I won't._

Dib sighed. Truly what was there to do? Fate had never gambled in his favor. It didn't in the past against all odds and there was no reason for it to start changing direction in the present. So as he watched them play their deadly song and dance of death, he came to a stone's throw. 

_Let them kill each other. Let whatever the hell Michelle thought was so great up there decide._

Then suddenly, in the strange way coincidence runs, it decided.

 Zim ran out. When he aimed to shoot and pulled the trigger, he got a clicking sound. He tried several times rapidly but the loud brisk clicking told all. Horrified at his misfortune, Zim dropped it and started to back away, searching around frantically for escape. Except for the exit ramp from the deck, the cargo hold was effectively a trap. There was nowhere to run. Zim's stream of life's luck had run out - finally.

Dib tensed, reasserting his clammy grip. Now or never.

Despite the playing field tilted in her direction, Nia advanced on her prey. Apparently she wanted to rub his defeat in his face before giving him over to it. "Want to leave me a little something to keep me up at night, Zim?"

Zim glared at her. "Nothing I could come up with would be enough to keep you up at night. I think a mirror would suffice on its own."

"Oh come on." She smiled sweetly. "There has to be SOMETHING."

Long pause. Suddenly Zim grinned. It was the nastiest, dirtiest grin Dib had ever seen. It gave him the shivers.

"There _is_ something."

"Pray tell."

Zim appeared to swallow and then he spoke. _"Ta nil ba'ka!"_

_Oh. My. God._ Dib's mouth creaked open in shock. Had to be, quite literally, the filthiest thing said in the Irken language to another Irken. 

A storm cloud moved over Nia's face. The heat in it was intense. Her rage was so great her little body trembled. She took a threatening toward Zim, the blood red heat burning in her murky eyes.

BANG!

Nia leapt and whipped around on Dib who had stepped out and fired a single shot into the air. Seeing him, amusement lit her eyes. "Oh isn't this nice, _both_ of my boyfriends are here."

Meanwhile Zim only stared at Dib. Under his breath he murmured, "You're alive." _I thought he was dead, I thought I killed him, I can't believe he's not dead . . . _But instead of being upset about it, he realized this made him happy. It made him happier than he ever thought he could be.

Dib sighted her. "I thought you played fair, Nia."

"Fair? Whoever said I played fair?" Suddenly a leg came from her pak, hooked Zim around the middle and drew him in to her even as he tried to run away. She put the weapon to his head and encircled her arm around his neck like a lover. 

"Curse you!" Zim shrieked frantically kicking and elbowing at her. "Release me or you will suffer most horribly!" The gun rammed in pointedly. He ceased struggling. "Or not."

Nia grinned. You could tell she loved every second of his fear. God, it was sickening.

Dib frowned. "Why are you turning this into a hostage situation? I don't give a rat's ass about him."

A second of hurt flickered across Zim's face followed by darkness.

Nia shrugged and moved the thing down the length of Zim's body. "Hostage? Nah. I'm just having fun." She tightened her grip around her former boss's neck and gave it a quick, hard jerk. He choked. "Aren't we?"

Meekly, Zim nodded. He seemed miserable.

"That's pretty fucking cold."

"Oh and what was it he did to you?" Nia shot back. "This is a space walk to the stars compared to that slice of hell you call your whole life. Don't tell me you don't want him to suffer for his evils."

"His evils? How about _your_ evils?" Dib challenged. "Where do your loyalties lie, Nia? Your uniform is the same color as his."

"Not anymore." 

Zim made a strangled gasp and arched over. His eyes bulged. Nia pushed him aside casually. A tiny wisp of steam came from the barrel of her weapon. Zim stumbled and fell to his side, clutching his stomach. Green blood steeped rapidly into the fabric of his uniform. After a second of lying there, a pool began to spread around him.

"NO!" The word screamed from Dib. He squeezed the trigger.

She dropped to the floor heavily, without a sound. Zim curled into a fetal position, rocking back and forth. Painfully he lifted his head, craning to see what had happened to her. Dib approached Nia's still body and turned it over with his foot.

There was a bullet hole between her eyes.

"Enough." He sounded calm and quiet. Gradually he turned his attention to Zim who made a small sound of fear and painfully tried to crawl away. A long streak of blood followed him. 

When Dib began walking toward him he began to make a strange mewling sound. A mewl that sounded exactly like the sound Nia had made in the ravine and the female Irken had made in the ICU.

Dib lifted the gun. No more.

Ready.

A single tear appeared under Zim's eye.

Aim.

The tear ran.

Fire.

Snap.

Snap.

Snap.

Zim closed his eyes and sighed heavy and shaky.

Dib looked at the gun. "Thing jams a lot." He tinkered with it, making sure while he did so it pointed away from his body. 

Seizing the opportunity, the alien tried to speak. "Dib . . . wait . . ."

"Wait?" Dib asked quietly, glancing at him, almost conversationally. "How much longer?" Click. "Got it."

"No longer," Zim was in anguish. "But you won't – you wouldn't - "

"Yes, Zim." Dib told him gently. "Yes, I would."

The alien tried again to crawl despite his strength being practically gone. It was amazing how much stamina the little guy had. Dib followed him, the abysmal anger rising steadily with growing strength. He narrowed his eyes into two fierce slits of hard amber. "Why?" he said darkly. "Tak, Michelle. My sister. Area 51. The whole human race, the whole fucking planet. Why?" A tear slipped loose and streamed down his cheek. Still broken. Always broken. "WHY?"

_"Promise me you won't give into your hate, Dib. This is really important to me."_

"I don't know!"

_Oh Gaz, you don't know what he's like. His death at my hate is what he created. _

"Like hell you don't!"

_But he doesn't understand what he's done to you, don't you realize that? He doesn't care! _

"I DON'T KNOW!"

_Then make him understand. Make him care._

"Goddammit," Dib angrily rubbed the tear away with the heel of his free hand. "I hate you. You deserve to die." 

He started to walk away.

Zim began screaming. 

Unable to stand it, he turned and yelled at Zim. "SHUT UP!" 

The alien ignored him.

Dib put both hands over his ears to block out the noise. "Shut up," he said to himself faintly, mournfully, trembling. "Just . . . . shut up."

Struggling, Zim propped himself up on his hands. Gradually Dib looked up at him.

For a long time they stared at each other.

Then it happened. Dib found himself coming over and kneeling at his rival's side. Zim's small hands clutched at the human's shirt. Without warning, the alien began to shake violently as if from an inward chill. His eyelids kept dropping, each blink a physical struggle. Everything in Dib screamed against it. But he reached down and slipped an arm carefully beneath the alien's tiny body and held him close. Zim responded by wrapping his tiny skinny arms around Dib's neck. Wordlessly, Dib cradled his nemesis in his arms and moved to leave. He paused to regard Nia's silent form. Her eyes were open and staring, her face frozen in surprise. The first and last time the young Irken soldier Nia could have been taken by surprise. Only in death.

Many minutes passed. All the while he stood there, saying nothing, thinking nothing. Shifting Zim to his other arm, he knelt by her side, reached out to her face and closed her eyes. Then he stood again and left the cargo bay.

***

_Two Hours Later . . . . . . . . . . ._

Watching the earth spin beneath his tiny ship, Dib felt something he hadn't felt in a long time. It took a while for him to find a name for the warmth inside of him and when he found it, it grew. He decided it was the best feeling in the universe.

Finding an Irken ship large enough to accommodate his height had been difficult enough without having to worry about bumping his head every time he moved around the now very obviously abandoned space station. He winced as he shifted in his soft seat. Not to mention the inconceivable lingering dull pain in his shoulder. Though he easily patched that little problem up with the rudimentary medical supplies in one room serving as sickbay, he couldn't find anything to kill the pain. Everything there had been made for Irken patients so he had had very little to go on.

Oh well. Gauze and swearing every now and again worked wonders.

On the other hand, what worked against his convenience worked for Zim's. The alien came to briefly and helped Dib help him by reading the labels on the equipment for the human. It wasn't easy. The alien's mind was in a daze, he didn't seem to know where he was half the time. His pak kept having to restart his breathing until Dib managed to stop the bleeding. According to a scan, all vital organs had been missed - amazing since so much blood had been lost. Between fighting his respiratory fluxes and being oblivious to immediate surroundings, Zim kept muttering unintelligibly. At first Dib thought he was trying to speak to him but he stopped paying attention when he listened to some of the stuff he was saying. Most of it wasn't worth minding. 

It's what usually happened when you had a fever. Irkens were no exception.

So Dib injected him with a sedative.

After tending to their injuries, Dib continued to explore the rest of the place until he found the docking port. Selecting the biggest ship, he was dismayed to learn all of them had only one seat and no room in the back for anything else. Just his type of luck.

It didn't matter now. He was going home.

Zim started to move around in his sleep. Dib rolled his eyes and endured it. It's what he had to put up with until he figured out where he could land without worrying about being shot down by the military. Thankfully Zim was so small, he fit on the human's lap comfortably. His head rested on the human's shirt, stained with a mixture of dried alien blood and his own. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend Zim was a small child. It actually felt kind of nice sitting there like that. _It must be what mothers feel with their babies,_ Dib mused. _Maybe it's why we have so many of them. For those few and far in between moments of peace and quiet reflection._

He looked down at the Irken again and couldn't help smiling. Part disbelief, part amazement. Unbelievable. Hadn't it only been a short time ago this was the very same creature that had tortured him? The same who was responsible for this entire war, for thousands dead, for warping his mind and others minds into shells of their former selves? Wasn't this the evil alien creature whose arrival into his life so many years ago changed it forever – forcibly robbing him of his childhood? 

Wasn't this his mortal enemy?

_Yes to all, yet here I am holding him in my arms, thinking about how nice this is._ There had to be something absurdly wrong with that. Cosmically wrong.

_He's the enemy. He's MY enemy. It won't mean anything to him. He doesn't understand the concept nor the enormity of what I've done for him._

_He didn't deserve my compassion. Still . . . I don't care. I can't help it. I can't stand there and let him die. I can't. I don't know what made me do it before with Nia  - why I was able to do it before. All I know is it's just not me. Let's face it while we're running. No matter how badly I want to kill him, no matter how much he deserves to die, no matter how sick I am of the shit he puts me through I just can't live without the bastard._

_And I don't think he can live without me._

Could he live with it knowing that?

_I think I can._

Dib rocked his head back and let it bump gently against the back of his seat. He exhaled slowly. He chuckled. Boy, if THAT wasn't fucked up! He couldn't wait to see Gaz and tell her about it. That was the best thing about it. He _would_ be able to tell her. __

Zim's eyes opened. The sedative had worn off. For a few moments, he stayed still, blinking, staring into space. Eventually he began to look around and as he did he sat up. There was a child-like curiosity on his face. Seeming not to notice Dib, he shifted around on the human's lap and got a full load of his surroundings. He spied earth outside and lingered on it for a bit. His claw absently teased across his heavily gauzed mid-section, touching the folds of it between his fingers. Then bit by bit, mindful of his wound he shifted around again and peered up at the human. Dib almost smiled when their eyes met. 

The alien opened his mouth. Closed it. But whatever he wanted to say, he decided not to. Instead he settled into the crook of the human's elbow and laid his head against his good shoulder. He exhaled audibly.

"Dib."

"Yeah?" Dib closed his eyes and let the tension ease from his muscles. A couple of hours of sleep and then he'd try to land, he decided.

"Why?"

For the longest time, it didn't look like he was going to answer. But then he did.

"Why not?"

It was the last thing the human said before drifting off. Zim sat up again and stared at him, studying his lanky profile. 

"Stupid human," he murmured in reply as a small smile stretched across the alien's face, a smile faintly echoing the one Dib gave him before. Yes. He knew now the answer the human had asked of him so desperately. The answer that eluded him for as long as this earth-monkey had been a part of his world, fueling his fervor, feeding his drive to conquest. The reason why this one human's very existence had given his life something he'd never forget. 

_He must know. But first he needs to hear what I owe him. It'll never be enough but . . . he needs to know it before anything else happens._

Zim brushed the human's cheek with his knuckles. 

"Hmm?" the human stirred.

"I'm sorry."

He opened his eyes. 

Heart hammering, Zim shrank back.

But all Dib did was smile. He went back to sleep.

After a long moment, the alien leaned against Dib's arm again and watched the earth beneath them. He imagined he saw the sunlight glance off the ocean, into the atmosphere and out to the stars.

***

A/N: That's not the end. The next chapter is the conclusion. This chapter had been hell to write – I wanted to get it just right. I hope I did.


	9. Crash Landing

***

_"It's the distance that keeps us safe." – Bryan Adams "Somebody"_

***

_Everything sure is pretty when you take the time to look at it._

Gaz sat on a rocky ledge, her legs swinging back and forth. Her eyes took in the valley below and the distant remnants of a small town. There wasn't much left of it, growth from plants and trees had grown over the decay effectively. The sun was out and the weather was mild; today was first of many days here in the mountains she could take off her ski jacket. Turning her head to the sun, she let its rays beat down on her face. Exhaling she stretched her arms, dropping them into her lap with a flop. She shivered when a cool breeze wafted across the exposed skin on her arms.

It had been three days since her brother disappeared. Three days of searching, sleepless turns of shift, of calling any allies within the twenty-yard radius for aid. Here had come the fourth day and Dib was still nowhere to be found. By the second she began to lose hope and by the time of the evening of the third had rolled around, Gaz realized there was a very real possibility her brother might be dead. And if he was captured like Spunk suspected, then she could completely erase any hope of seeing him ever again. Alive, at least.

Gaz ran her fingertips up and down her arm, chewing on her bottom lip. Never seeing him again. She didn't like to admit it but this was one reality she refused to accept. Dib was coming back, she insisted. He had to come back because he wouldn't leave her like this. He never had and he never would. Bottom line.

She felt a lump lodge itself in her throat. But what if it was true? What if he was gone forever? What if he was somewhere, hurt and in pain and calling out for her? The lump started to grow and she was afraid to exhale for she knew she would start crying if she did. 

A small hand touched her shoulder. Gaz turned her head and managed a small smile. "Hi Spunk."

The little Irken settled beside her. He smiled back at her. "Hello Gaz." She and the alien had grown closer over the past few days. Since having only each other to work with, the bonding part had been inevitable. From the strain in his face, she could see the worry was starting to take its toll on him. "How are you?"

She shrugged.

"Me too." Spunk folded his arms across his tiny chest and hunched. "The weather in these elevations is terrible. Never did we have such temperatures on Irk! Brr!"

Wordlessly Gaz put an arm around him. He obliged her kindness by scooting a little closer. "Better?"

"Yes. Thank you." Spunk studied the human female after many minutes of silence. "Are you all right?"

She nodded and sniffed very delicately.

Spunk didn't need convincing. "No, you're not." He made an inviting motion. Gaz accepted it and embraced the Irken. Spunk was one of very few of his kind to not mind this sort of affectionate physical contact with humans. He was more comfortable assimilating into the human mindset than most. Hugging was one phenomenon he grew to admit to liking very much. Humans touched each other constantly in so many different ways. You had to be careful because any one touch could be misconstrued. Fortunately he was really good at telling each gesture apart from the other and could offer where was appropriate.

Gaz insisted on holding him for a few moments longer than he liked and he gave a little pointed squirm. Taking the hint, she sat back. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Spunk gazed out over the valley. Then he looked at her again. "Listen . . . there's some bad news," he began slowly. "I have to inform you that our friends in the twenty miler have called off the search."

"When?" The woman appeared both surprised and not surprised.

"A little over an hour ago." Pause. "I tried to talk them out of it but . . . they don't think he's alive and they don't want to waste anymore manpower on futility." He gave another longer pause before he added softly, "I think we're going to have to face facts here, Gaz."

She shook her head. No, no she was not.

Spunk took both of her wrists and tugged on them to get her to move around and look at him. She obliged but her eyes stayed in her lap. Letting go, he spoke carefully and gently, "Look at me."

Gradually she did. The Irken's dark red eyes were searching hers, trying to find some sign of understanding. Of course he wouldn't find any.

"Maybe it's for the best," he tried to be gentle. "I understand it may be difficult to accept . . ."

"I'm not giving up on him," she interrupted. "Dib didn't give up on me when I was fighting for my life after being left for dead by that bastard Empire. I owe it to him to keep my vigil. Besides," she steeled, "I don't believe in four days telling me how much hope I ought to have left!"

Spunk nodded. _True_. Standing, he touched the human's hand and gave it a brief squeeze. Then he was gone.

Gaz watched him go. _He's so nice,_ she thought_. Why do I always get stuck with people so much nicer than me? Well,_ she amended, _being mean by nature kind of opens for it._ Spunk was one of the less gung-ho members of his species. If he'd been human, she was sure she'd have lost her head over him. Like her brother, Gaz had an unfortunate track record with romantic relationships. She somehow hooked up with ones who she felt were too good for her emotional coldness. The only male in her life she could exist five minutes around without feeling like shit was Dib. Up until just these past few days, she'd thought that was completely pathetic.

Gaz wiped at her eyes. _No. At least I had my brother,_ she thought, _and at least he had me. But now . . . _

She stood and cupped her hands around her mouth. "Dib!" she yelled out over the valley. "DIIIIB!" Pause. Nothing. Of course nothing. _How ridiculous, what was I thinking?_ "I had to try," she murmured to herself. Looking up into the sky, she sighed. Sure was pretty. No clouds, no haze. Perfect blue.

Wait.

She squinted.

_What's that?_

"Binoculars," she blurted out loud, tugging down her zipper to her jacket and pulling out a pair. She adjusted them as she pointed heavenward.

Irken ship.

Shit. Empire issue too. _What the hell were they doing out here? _Gaz set her jaw and narrowed her eyes. Unable to do anything about it, she gave hope they were only passing by. Passing by and . . . doing aeronautical acrobatics?!

"How much have _you_ been drinking, buddy?" she muttered lowering the eye-pieces. Unable to do anything but watch, Gaz followed the craft until it made an imperfect three point landing somewhere down in the valley near a farmer's silo. A few seconds later, a wisp of steam began streaming from it like smoke from a chimney.

Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

Holy mother of . . . . Gaz almost had a heart attack. Just the satellite phone in her jacket. Still it didn't stop her from taking a deep breath of relief. Clearing her throat, she flipped it out. Taking a brisk tone, she spoke. "Hello, Gaz here."

"Gaz?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah?"

"It's me."

"Me?"

"Me. Your brother."

Her eyes fairly popped out of her head. "DIB?!" Becoming angry and panicked, she laid into him. "Do you have ANY idea how worried we all are? Where the hell are you? I swear, if you say you're hog tied with a three-by-four sized Irken issue blaster at the back of your skinny neck, I'm going to be kicking your ass so hard. . . ."

"Gaz . . ."

". . . you'll wish your brains HAD been blown out! And after I do that . . . !"

"GAZ!"

"What?"

"Shut up."

_Being bitched out probably isn't what he needs right now_. Gaz took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. "Where are you, are you all right?" she asked more quietly and with real concern. Dread held her.

"I'm all right, in a matter of speaking . . . (No, we can't get out yet)," Dib told her, his voice going far away for a bit when he covered the mouthpiece. "Did you just see anything weird a minute ago?"

"I just saw an Empire issue Irken ship make a crash landing down in the valley."

"Is it right next to a farmer's silo?"

"Yeah."

"Is it smoking?"

"Yeah."

"Uh-huh, yeah. That's me."

"You?" Gaz did a double-take. Panicking again, she said, "You're not hurt are you?"

"I just said I wasn't," Dib sounded amused and annoyed at the same time. "I'm calling using this thing's communicator. Lucky for me it operates on all channels radio and satellite phones included. It even gets TV!"

Gaz turned and started back toward the compound. "That's nice, Dib," she replied, disinterested. "I'm headed back to the bunker to get Spunk. I'm going to be bringing a First Aid Kit. We still got the helicopter. After he and I fight over who gets to fly, we'll be down in like five, ten minutes."

"Cool. Hey, um, is Spunk the only one with you still?" There was another background sound, like someone talking. She heard her brother faintly reply, "No, don't take them off . . . Look, when I get off I'll help you."

Gaz chose to ignore it. "Yes."

"Good. Listen, I'm not alone. I've – um – I've got someone with me. I don't want anyone crowding him." Dib sounded awkward. "Oh and Gaz, he's hurt really badly and when you see him, you'll understand why I'm asking you now to curb any violent urges you might and probably will have."

Gaz frowned, replying even as she waved to Spunk to come out from the small hill fort when he happened to look out the window. "Why? Who's with you?"

"Not important. I'm just asking you to do me this favor. Can you?"

Gaz played it off. "Hey, Dib, it's me. I'm around you all the time and I curb my violent urges just fine." She smiled when he laughed. "Should I tell Spunk to control himself?"

Spunk jogged down the hill and waited patiently when Gaz gestured for him to hold on.

"Yeah. He doesn't like who I'm with either." Pause. "Look, I have to go. I'll see you in a few."

Click.

Gaz hung up and stared at the phone and then in the direction of the ship. This was strange. It wasn't normally like Dib to be so secretive and mysterious about anything. Who could he possibly have with him that would inspire rage in both an Irken and herself? 

"What's up?" Spunk piped.

"Us. Got the keys to the chopper?"

"Yes. Where are we going?"

"To pick up my brother."

***

Dib placed the communicating device down, commenting under his breath of it, "That is so cool!" Glancing down at the alien sitting at the edge of his lap, he resigned himself to the task. "Okay, what's your problem?"

Wordlessly Zim pointed to his mid-section. "I am in pain."

"I get that. What do you want me to do about it?"

Zim didn't reply although he looked like he really wanted to. Dib read the look and moved. Hitting a switch, he pushed the small craft's door open. Swinging his legs out, he jumped to the ground (more like hopped than jumped) and then turned around. Zim sat on the seat, watching him uncertainly.

Dib held his hands out.

Zim dipped his chin and subtly shook his head. 

"C'mon, it's okay."

He shook his head again. The distrust was plain to see this time. Dib lowered his arms and exhaled, trying to hold back his exasperation. "Zim, I can't help you if you don't cooperate with me."

Still nothing.

"Goddammit." Dib picked up Zim up beneath his arms and climbed back down despite the alien's feeble squirming. He wasn't protesting in his usual 'put me down you horrible stink-beast before you suffer my wrath' way thank God. Still the very fact he struggled put a damper on the whole thing.

Dib held the alien at arm's length, controlling the urge to simply let him drop. Holding the tiny creature close to his face, he made sure Zim was listening. "Look, we can do this later. Okay? If this is REALLY what you want to do, we'll do it later. I'm assuming since you told me you're in pain you want me to do something about it." Pause. "Do you want me to do something about it?"

Rather thrown, his enemy gave him a tiny nod.

"Okay then." Setting him down on the ground, he sat beside the alien. Zim's arms were forever wrapped around his stomach and they didn't move when Dib tugged on one of them. "Zim," Dib warned. "I don't have to do this, you know."

Reading that, the alien reluctantly lifted his arms. Leaning back, he watched as Dib carefully pulled back the bandages. "Jesus Christ," he exclaimed. "She blew a hole the size of fucking Idaho in you." Zim craned his head over to look but Dib put his hand to the side of the Irken's face, shielding his eyes.

"Why can't I see?"

Ignoring his question, Dib just shook his head and covered it back up again. "It'll have to do until Gaz brings the kit." He took his hand away from Zim's face. "You need medical attention bad. There's not much I can do here."

The alien seemed to pale. "Gaz?" He tried to crawl away, shaking in fear. Dib felt bad, the alien really looked terrified and for good reason. 

Dib reached out and put both hands on his shoulders. "Relax. She won't hurt you."

Zim didn't believe it. His eyes darted around frantically and he started to panic. "Zim will NOT be your captive! I demand to be let go. I promise I won't destroy you anymore just let me gooooo."

When he heard Zim say this, for the first time it came to him differently. It came to him as it hadn't come to him for several years now. If he'd been twelve and hearing this, Dib would have responded with mirth and laughter. But now, strangely, he felt like crying. It meant things had changed so much the enmity between them couldn't be the way it had been before. Looking at the bloody, tiny, helpless, maniac alien he couldn't believe the contempt he had invested so much into him. 

Sanity left Zim's eyes as the alien got going. "I WILL NOT BE YOUR PRISONER! Zim can be held by no one! Do you hear me? NOOOOOO ONNNNNE!"

Dib sat back against the ship and brought a hand to his temple. "Shut up," he said tiredly.

"I will not!" Zim flared. "I know this GAME and I will NOT play it!"

"What game?"

"You're tricking me with this . . . . this nice . . . act. . . thing!" Zim sure had an awful lot of energy for someone with a hole in his stomach. "Zim IS NOT falling for it!"

"Zim, get over yourself," Dib shot back. "Look, I'm hurt too and I feel like shit. Believe me, tricking you is the _last_ thing on my mind. I just want to take a good painkiller, find a bed and go to sleep. I don't want to think anymore and I _certainly_ don't want to listen to you cripe."

"I do NOT cripe." Pause. "What is a 'cripe'?"

_Oh God . . ._ Dib started to chuckle and eventually it worked its way up to a laugh. Giving himself up to it, he waved a hand at Zim to indicate he wasn't making fun of him. The alien only squinted an eye at him. 

The sound of a helicopter landing nearby alerted them. Full wide fear spread across Zim's face and he moaned. "Nooooo."

Dib got to his feet and picked up the alien again. Anticipating his struggles, Dib pinned his arms to his sides and held him against his body so there was no chance of Zim kicking or scratching.

"Release me! Release me NOW!" he cried weakly. Sounding tired as hell, he continued almost in tears.

"Shhh," Dib told him. "Stop it."

Zim quit trying to get away. "You won't let her hurt me?"

"I won't let her hurt you."

Zim turned his head around and looked at Dib. "You promise?"

The human nodded. Yes, it would make cosmic justice to let Gaz kick the shit out of the alien and under different circumstances he would have been the first to get one in there himself. "I promise. I won't let anyone hurt you."

The alien relaxed and moved around so he sat comfortably in the human's arms. Hesitantly he hooked one arm around Dib's neck and their eyes met. There was a muted hostility but it was an old one. Something new was tempering it, something neither was sure they were ready for. Although each in his own way had accepted what he felt inside, neither was sure how to tell the other. 

"Dib?"

Both Zim and Dib broke eye contact and turned to look. While Zim deliberately put his head on Dib's shoulder and closed his eyes, Dib smiled at the woman coming toward them.

"Hey sis."

Gaz gave her brother an awkward half hug, simply going around the alien he was holding. Kissing him on the cheek, she stepped back. Seeing his shoulder, Gaz made a terse sound. "You idiot. How many holes are you going to get blown in you before your head explodes?"

"I don't know, you might have to keep count for me."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "You'll always be a dork." Finally taking notice of her brother's burden, she added, "And is this the someone you insisted I not harm?" Performing a double take she let her eyes really take who this was. "Oh shit…."

Dib took a step back. "Yes."

Instead of screaming at him like he'd feared, Gaz stared at the alien. A whole range of emotions crossed her face. Finally she came to a conclusion. "Is he awake?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah. He's just hiding his face."

"Curse you," Zim muttered and lifted his head. Forcing himself to raise his eyes to Gaz, he didn't smile. He flinched and his eyes went wild when she raised her hand toward his face. Tensing, Dib made ready to move fast in case Gaz went back on her word. He knew what she was doing though. He really needn't have asked his sister to not react the way he had. Gaz simply had never held anything against Zim – not then and not now. Perhaps she could see something in the alien Dib couldn't see, and it always seemed she could see this ever since the two had met.

When her fingers touched his face, he shrank back. "Hey," Gaz admonished, "calm down." She pulled away. Turning to her brother, who frowned a little at the meaning of the whole interlude, she said, "Spunk's waiting."

"Cool." He jerked his head at the Irken shuttle behind him. "What about this thing?"

"I'll have Spunk take care of it."

"Oh really?" Dib said slyly. "Seems to me you got Spunk trained good."

Gaz made a phst noise and carefully gave him a kick in the shin although not hard enough to disable him. "Oh shut up. If he minded taking my requests, he'd say something about it. Now are you coming or not?"

"I'm coming. Where we going?"

"Back to the fort unless . . ." Gaz tilted her head at him. "Did things change? It's been unusually quiet since you've been gone."

"How do you mean?"

"Well," she began, "Washington got this strange call from a couple of really tall Irkens. I heard they said some breezy kind of thing like, 'Hey Earth, it's us, we're leaving now sorry for the war, we found another planet, hope there are no hard feelings, bye.'" She shrugged. "The President said it was the weirdest transmission. But ever since then the Empire ships haven't been coming around. Rumor has it the Massive moved out. I don't know much else beyond that: the Net can only tell so much and like only five other people know my satellite phone number."

Zim suddenly made a strangled cry. "NOOOOO!" He made two fists and put them to the sides of his head. "They SAID I had ONE MORE YEAR! They _gave_ me another chance!"

"Apparently not," Dib said dryly. "So is this supposed to be good news?" he asked his sister.

"Don't know." She made an indecisive gesture. "I did hear the Prez is supposed to give a speech from the remains of the Congress building. Transmitting it all over the world too."

"Do we have a TV?"

She grinned at him. "You got that thing don't you?" Suddenly she fell serious and indicated Zim. "What are we going to do with him?"

"Huh? Do with him?"

Gaz stared at him. "Dib, hello. If word gets out Zim's on earth, we're going to have a time keeping him safe. You've got about a planet's worth of humanity and about a thousand or so Irken rebels who would very much like to see him dead."

Zim paled and involuntarily held onto Dib tighter.

Dib blanched. Going back to the craft, he set Zim inside of it and closed the door. He didn't want the alien to hear anything else they would say. "That's right," he continued. "Shit, if we turn him over to the American military and the other countries find out we have him, they're all gonna want to hold some sort of tribunal thing. And you know what the verdict would be in his case." 

"Yeah." Gaz looked uncomfortable. "So what do you want to do?"

Dib was troubled. "I don't know." Glancing back at the alien who watched them through the glass with both hands on it, he felt torn. "Part of me says do it and the other part . . ." He looked back at Gaz. "Well, how do you feel?"

She thought. It was a little while before she replied. "The same. I mean, he's hurt so many not to mention what he did to me."

"He did it to me too."

Gaz only shook her head pityingly. Giving a confused start all of a sudden, she raised an eyebrow at him. "Wait, he tortured you too?"

"Uh, yeah." At the silent question, Dib ran a hand through his spiky hair. "It's-It's complicated. There's a lot you don't know about."

She eyed him. "I hope I get to find out." Gesturing to Zim again, she asked again, "Well?"

Taking her seriously. "I know turning Zim over is the right thing to do, I mean it probably is the right thing to do." He kicked at the ground. "But. . ." he sighed heavily. "Gaz, it's just . . . it's Zim. I know it sounds really selfish but I feel like if anyone ought to decide whether he live or die, it should be me." He colored and part of his mouth went up in a half sheepish smile. "Yeah, but it's probably just the part of me that thinks he's MY alien. I mean, I never told you this, but ever since I "discovered" Zim I felt like he belonged to me." Glancing to the alien again and then back to his sister, "Does that sound weird to you?"

Gaz shook her head. "No." She approached him. "I kind of always got the feeling if Zim died at anyone else's hands, you'd have a real hissy fit." 

Dib smiled suddenly. "Yeah. I would. Still . . ." he moved his shoulders up and down. "I can't decide."

After a second, Gaz touched his arm. "Why don't we just go back to the fort? There you can rest and decide what to do then."

He stared at her. "You're leaving this to me?"

She folded her arms. "No. I'm leaving it to BOTH of you." Then she turned on her heel and walked back toward the chopper. After watching her for a minute, Dib went back to the Irken ship to get Zim.

***

A/N: This IS the conclusion, it's just longer than one chapter. 


	10. The War Is Over

***

__

"Someday we will become what we see

Cause anyone can start a conflict

It's harder yet to disregard it

I'd rather see the world from another angle." Jewel "I'm Sensitive"

***

It took three weeks for Zim to recover enough to be able to walk on his own. During the time he was bed bound, Spunk took care of him for the most part. Dib had taken ill and Gaz was constantly keeping up-to-date with the outside world. Consequently neither had much contact verbally with Zim other than sitting with him at night to make sure he didn't try to escape. It helped the alien in his recovery somewhat not having to be around humans so much. Oh sure, since Dib was sick he stayed inside the fort but he slept a LOT and only woke when his sister wanted to talk to him or his basic needs required to be met.

Spunk did not like taking care of him, that much became obvious to Zim. The little Irken rebel didn't speak much and only did so when it was absolutely necessary. He was doing this because Dib asked him to. Personally, he had told Zim, he'd rather have thrown him out. It was an understandable anti-sentiment. Irkens weren't exactly noted for being especially empathic with each other.

So he spent most of his days watching things happen around him. Gaz breezed in and out, reporting on such things as the weather, who made her phone ring today, what the laptop and radio were saying about the clean-up efforts 'back in the world.' Recovery and reconstruction was already underway in small towns. The government had ventured out of its ostrich hole in the ground and started taking control of things once more. One night, Zim overheard Gaz tell Spunk in the next room it would take at least ten to twenty years for civilization to be anywhere near the level it'd been before the war.

"That's not so bad," Spunk commented. "I mean, for you."

Zim imagined Gaz shrugging. "I guess. Be kind of nice to have things back the way they were right away." Silence. "You know, we've been at war for so long, I don't know what I want to do with my life. I've spent so much on trying to survive I haven't thought about what I wanted to do for years."

"Me neither." Spunk admitted after a respectful pause. "But see your option for that was always open. For me, it never was an option."

"But isn't it?"

"Yes." Spunk sounded somewhat excited. "The freedom this life on earth has given me is extraordinary! You couldn't possibly understand what it's like for me to be able to go where I want do what I want and be whom I want. Just saying whatever I want to beings taller than me I find constantly amazing."

Gaz laughed. Zim sat up a bit, wincing as he did. He listened to the sound and found he liked it MUCH better than screams of agony. It was kind of like music. 

"Are you making fun of me?" 

"No." Gaz burst out laughing again.

"Liar. You're making fun of me."

"I'm not. I swear." She kept laughing.

"Hey!" called Dib sleepily from the room across from Zim's. "There are people trying to sleep in here!"

Immediately the two quieted down. A few minutes later, they were laughing again. Zim laid his head down on the pillow and shut his eyes, trying vainly to block it out. He wished he could get up and close the door but his legs weren't up to the task. The door was all the way on the other side of the room too. A tap on his open door made him open his eyes again.

It was Dib. "Hey, do you mind if I crash here? My room doesn't have a door."

The alien made a casual gesture of permission. Shutting the door, Dib sank on the cot on the other side of the room. With the door closed the only light in the room now was the one coming from the kerosene lamp on the barred windowsill. Lying down, the human crossed his arms under his head. He stared at the ceiling.

Zim watched him. Sensing his eyes on him, Dib turned his head. Their gazes met.

Several beats passed.

Suddenly Dib sat up, propping his torso up by the elbow. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm . . . fine."

The lengthy reply made the human view him with worry. "It doesn't sound like it."

Long silence.

"C'mon Zim," Dib urged. "Talk to me."

Zim stared up at the ceiling. He did not reply.

He heard the bedsprings creak when Dib got up and his footsteps as he crossed the room. His heart began to pound faster and faster. A weight settled at the foot of his cot. Opening his eyes he turned on his side away from the human, kind of assuming a fetal position beneath the sheets. 

"Is it bothering you?" Dib sounded concerned. "We've got some painkillers you can take."

Slowly Zim shook his head and hugged his abdomen. A thin whimper escaped him even though he did his best to wrestle it back. When Dib gently made him turn over he didn't protest. Since the bandage was under the uniform, he had to undo it. Deeply embarrassed, Zim pointedly made his face stony and set his jaw. Dib was the only one of the three here he let touch him in this manner. It made for one hell of a pride killer every time.

"Well, it's not bleeding through the gauze," Dib commented while covering the alien back up. He pulled the covers over him again. "Have you tried walking today?"

Zim nodded.

"And?"

"I fell." 

"Ouch." Dib made a sympathetic face. "You'll get better." _I hope_, he added silently.

Zim finally made eye contact. Thinking for a second, he blurted, "Why are you doing this?"

Dib just smiled. "Because I want to."

Zim struggled to sit up and made it. He tried to hide how wretched he felt but his daily façade of superiority was gone. Tiring from the mere effort of holding his head up, he collapsed against his pillow. "Dib . . . I . . ." he trailed off. His heart was pounding again. "Am I . . . what's going to happen to me?"

Dib shrugged and lay down beside Zim, exhaling slowly. "Well," he replied at length. "If you stay here, we'll need to turn you over to our military. The whole planet will want to have you tried for everything you did." Pause. "If you leave, well, that's kind of a double whammy. The rebels wandering around out there would hunt you down." He glanced at the alien. "What do you want to do?" he asked quietly.

"I . . . I want . . ." Zim started and trailed off. "I want to die," he finally said.

Dib sat up some and looked down at him. His eyes asked.

The alien shook his head. "Living like this . . . how life is going to be because of this. I couldn't live with it." Softly he whispered, "You should have killed me."

Dib dipped his chin down. The body language said it all.

"What's the point of rubbing it in any further?" Zim demanded. "Look at me. I'm in pieces. I'm in ruin. I've been utterly defeated." He got more and more upset. "You know how Irken society is. Don't you understand that this invasion meant everything to me? It was MY LIFE, Dib. It was . . . . everything." Bringing down his fist he deliberately punched himself in the wound. He went for it again and like he predicted, Dib caught his wrist.

"Don't do that."

"I will do as I please, Dib-worm," he growled snatching his hand back. He tried to do it again and Dib grabbed both of his arms. The human was incredibly strong and his grip was a vice. Trying to pull away, he whispered, "_I'm_ the one who broke_ you_, I broke you and you told me you'd kill me. You lied to me. You LIED." 

"Yes." Dib admitted, letting him go. "I did lie. But . . . listen, you've got understand something. I've wanted to kill you for so long, the more I wanted to do it, the less likely it seemed if I ever got the chance, I'd take it. Intellectually, yes, I believe you had what's happened to you coming for a long time. Except," he put a hand on his forehead, "I think you deserve a second chance. I think if you really wanted to, you could change. Besides," he chuckled, "you just lied to me too."

"I did not."

"Yes, you did." Dib told him. "You said the mission was everything. It wasn't." He eyed him. "I think we both know what I'm talking about."

Zim lowered his eyes. "Yes." 

__

Hey, light at the end of the tunnel buddy. "I have a little idea." Dib appeared thoughtful. "It has a _maybe_ fifty-fifty chance of working. If you decide to own up to Earth and allow them to try you in our justice system, I could petition to put you in my custody. You wouldn't be able to have any exclusive rights outside of what the court lets you do and your life would be in my hands. Basically you'd be . . ."

"Your property."

"Well, yes."

"I would belong to YOU." Zim mulled this over. The idea didn't hold. "I think I would rather be dead."

God, if you wanted to talk about being absurd. "Oh Christ, Zim, it's not as bad as you think. I'm not gonna make you my slave. Jesus, I'm not a kid anymore." Dib groaned, caught between being sadly amused and annoyed. "I've got news for you. The war IS OVER between us. We're not friends but we're not enemies either."

"Then….what are we?" Zim wanted to know. 

Dib shrugged best he could lying down. "I guess something in between." He stopped, seeming to think about something for the longest time. "Wow," he finally said softly, in awe.

The alien turned on his side, peering at the human closely. "What?"

He only shook his head, the fascination in his expression plain to see in the dim to near pitch black room. "I'm just thinking about how much things have changed. It feels a million years ago. Everything's different." Sighing, Dib glanced at the alien. "Except you. You haven't changed a bit since I first met you."

Too true for comfort. Zim gave a half-smile. "Yeah…..but you have. A lot."

Dib frowned some. Was it him or did he just hear a hint of regret in the alien's voice? With his elbow he lightly nudged him the side. Tell me, it said.

He did. "You're going to keep changing too." He spoke very quietly. "Then one day you'll…… and I'll still be……" His voice caught. "Am I right?"

Sadly. The human man nodded. "Humans don't have very long life-spans. I've got maybe till I'm ninety - if I'm lucky." Pause. "Why? Does that bother you?"

No answer. Zim only clamped on his bottom lip. His claws opened and closed over the edges of the sheet, twisting the cloth between his fingers. It took him a few minutes to realize the alien was fighting back tears. God, Dib thought, he's really fighting it. "Zim?"

The alien blinked rapidly several times. "I want to try . . . . I want to do that thing you said."

"What thing? Oh." Performing a doubletake he filled with incredulity. "Wait, you want to turn yourself over?"

Nod.

Rather startled, Dib sat all the way up, getting a bit scared. Here was a new development he hadn't expected. This was not what he thought Zim would say. "You realize I might not be able to get that for you. They're going to want to push for something a lot harsher." 

The alien thought. "If that's what your planet decides, I guess I'll have to accept it. I've been on trial before."

"You have? When?"

"It was before the war. When we still were going to skool. I got called back to the Empire. The Tallest tried to convict me for my past mistakes. Providentially the control brains overloaded and I got off." He shrugged when Dib raised an eyebrow. "I guess it's too much to hope for another lucky break for Zim, huh?" He tried to smile. It came out weak and pained instead.

When he said that, Dib realized with all the more conviction why the alien deserved to be given a second chance. Everything that was happening between them right now attested to that. Feeling torn again, he gave the alien an affectionate cuff across the head. Zim looked startled but then he did it back to his arm.

Sleep came as inevitability as night. How the daylight chose to shine the next day was out of their hands.

***

Prisons were depressing. They all somehow exuded the same exact atmosphere of bleak oppressiveness. The newly constructed prison in Washington D.C. for captives from the Irken Empire was no different from the usual prisons built for humans. If you wanted to count the decent mixture of alien guards and human receptionists as different then it was a small divergence.

A young man in a black trench coat felt the cold wash of the prison's inherent atmosphere the very moment he came through the front door. The first time he'd come to the soulless facility, he'd gone home shivering with strange nightmares he couldn't seem to shake for days after. Now though, being what would mark probably his thirtieth visit in as many as four months, it went through him without effect. In a long easy stride, he approached the brunette, twenty something receptionist.

She glanced up and flashed a pert smile at the spiky haired man. You would think she was working a dentist's office and not a prison. "Hello! Can I help you?"

He gave her a 'quit the crap' look. "Denise. Stop it already."

Denise handed him a clipboard. "All right. Don't need to get an attitude about it." She watched him put his name down. "How's it coming?" she asked softly.

"You'll know when you watch the news tomorrow," he said shortly. He handed the clipboard back to her. "Or tonight, since everyone seems to have an ear for this case."

So they've all heard. She nodded. Taking an opportunity she'd taken two months before with little success, she asked. "So can I ask you again or is your answer still the same?"

"The same." The young man with the unusual hair finally met her eyes through his round glasses. Seeing the disappointment, he softened the blow. "Look, it's not that I don't think you're pretty."

"Sure." Denise self-consciously removed a pencil from behind her ear.

"It's not a good time, that's all," he told her. Moving on to more important matters, he asked, "Is it the same room?"

"Of course," Denise replied coolly. "Where else they gonna keep him?"

Sigh. He hung his head. Why did women always get so cold every time he told one no? "Thank you," he replied with his own brand of ice and allowed the Irken guard she promptly buzzed for escort to lead him away.

***

The milky afternoon sunlight shone between the window bars, falling in long shadows against the opposite wall at a right angle, leaving the rest of the granite colored cell in a dark gray. At all other hours of the day the room never got any light except for at noon and only then at this particular, peculiar angle. The walls themselves were decorated with the scratch marks of previous occupants, their scriptures left behind for the next tenants to read, take meaning into and add their own claw made eulogies into the stone.

At first glance to an outsider, the room was empty. At least, that's what the outsider in question viewed when the heavy door to the room was opened. Stepping inside, he waited for the door to close and latch securely behind him. Then he consigned himself to look around.

The basic cheap but comfortable cot was overturned. The mattress was propped up against the wall, stripped bare of sheets, which were strewn around the floor in a twisted manner. Long claw marks shredded the mattress side facing toward the light; some stuffing hanging out and a spring could be visible.

In the corner of the room, sitting with his knees drawn and skinny arms draped casually around them, sat a small lime colored alien with magenta eyes that sagged and antenna that hung around his head limply. They pricked up when he lifted his eyes to his new visitor. Gradually he got to his feet and approached him.

"I see you've destroyed your bed again."

Face growing dark, the alien folded his arms and looked up at the much taller being. "Thank you for dispensing with the pleasantries this time."

Eventually the human got down on one knee to approximate his height. "It's been a while, Zim."

"Yes." Zim took his time. "I haven't seen you for a month." He looked up hopefully. "Does that mean they've….?"

Dib nodded, running the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip. His eyes remained downcast.

"Well?" the alien ventured eagerly. "Do not keep Zim in suspense."

"The appeal . . . didn't go through." Dib struggled through each and every word. Deliberately he kept both eyes on the ground. "I tried to get another one but the judge rejected me this time. He said . . . . he said the vote was unanimous." Forcing himself to look up, he said quietly, "I tried, Zim. I'm sorry."

The alien stared at him for a long time, trying to comprehend what he'd just been told. Then his face twisted in anguish and ferocity. The next thing Dib knew was Zim had rammed him in the chest, making him fall back on his bottom. Supporting himself with his hands, he watched the small alien pound on his chest with his tiny fists. Rather than defending himself, he let him do it. 

The last punch was weaker and in delivering it, his little body slacked. Sliding off he went back to the corner and slid back down the wall. Burying his face in his knees, Zim became very still. When Dib came and sank in beside him, he didn't object and he didn't move away.

"I never told you I'd be able to do it, Zim," Dib sat gently but firmly. "Remember I did tell you that it was possible we'd lose. You agreed to the risks. You knew that."

Zim nodded without lifting his head. He looked up, staring straight ahead, his eyes shinier than they usually were.

"I did try," Dib insisted, almost pleadingly. "Jesus, I pulled out every stop in the book for you. I got you a defense. I even argued the way your own society was more at fault than you were for what happened. Goddammit, you have no idea what kind of hell I've been going through for you out there. I've lost the respect of practically every person on the planet!" He grunted angrily and rammed the wall behind him with his elbow. "It's like fucking black-listing all over again. I have zero credibility and I've lost all my connections and friendships. The only three people sticking by me are my dad, Gaz and Spunk. But other than that . . . I'm alone."

"And it's all because of you," he added without a hint of anger. "Again, all because of you."

He stood again and made his way to the door and knocked. Bracing the frame with both hands, he stood there and waited for the guard to open it. He kept his back to Zim because he didn't want him to see the tears running down his face. The door opened.

"I love you," he heard the alien say behind him very softly.

There was a long pause. Without turning around, he replied, "I love you too."

Dib stood outside the closed door. He shut his eyes and sighed, slipping his hands into his pockets; heading toward the exit. Gradually he slowed and came to a stop. 

"Like I said," Dib said to himself as a grin began to spread, "everyone deserves a second chance."

Picking up the pace, he hurried. Taking out his cell phone, he dialed. "Hey Gaz," he said when she picked up. "You in mood to do something really dangerous and stupid?"

"Always."

He smiled.

***

THE END

***


End file.
